


I Love You (Ain't That The Worst Thing You Ever Heard)

by emperoxgrayland



Category: Real Person Fiction, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Real Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:41:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22225024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emperoxgrayland/pseuds/emperoxgrayland
Summary: “What do you want from me, Adam?”Everything, he thinks.He wants everything with her.But he can’t do that to her.“I can’t do this to you.”She blinks and there’s a storm in her eyes as she tugs him by the lapels and molds her lips against his.“I love you, Adam.”He was going to hell, he was sure of it. But what a way to go - he thinks as he returns her kiss.
Relationships: Adam Driver/Daisy Ridley
Comments: 38
Kudos: 211





	1. The Beginning of The End

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Heavy themes of adultery, and Daiver themes. It's tagged, and filterable. Nosy snowflakes please stop reading now.

The Present

“What do you want from me, Adam?”

Everything, he thinks. 

He wants everything with her. 

But he can’t do that to her. 

“I can’t do this to you.”

She blinks and there’s a storm in her eyes as she tugs him by the lapels and molds her lips against his. 

“I love you, Adam.”

“Daisy…”

“I. Love. You. Adam.”

He was going to hell, he was sure of it. But what a way to go - he thinks as he returns her kiss.

—

2014

“Daisy Ridley.”

“Adam Driver.”

The sheer massiveness of him was enough to intimidate her. 

But now standing here before him, with him smiling down at her like that - her heart beats faster, there’s a drop in her stomach. 

Oh no. She thinks to herself. 

Oh no no no. 

She had a crush on him - in the five seconds it took to introduce themselves. 

The minute JJ called action there was a change in him. 

Gone was the puppy look in his eyes, the self deprecating smile and the all too familiar hunch of a man who was always too… massive and was trying not to stick out. 

Instead he rises to his full height, shoulders straining against the sweater he wore, and the softness and openness of his face hardening into a mask as his lips that she had been staring at for the past half an hour hardens into a thin line. 

This… she thinks… this is not Adam. 

He’s every bit Kylo Ren. 

He removes his mask, and shows… the Prince of the Sith, of Alderaan of Naboo.

That was what the script said. 

And she felt it in her very inch of her bones, so much so that a shudder ran through her as his hand, his hot, massively large hand, hovered against her cheek and his eyes - that were hazel and sparkly and almost a kid’s now darkened, almost to dark black pools, and she swallows and her breath hitches in her throat and she turns away from him, heart beating so fast and the arousal just… overwhelms her. 

“You’re afraid. Of being alone. Of being left behind. You wait for your parents. You count the days. You have trouble sleeping - you think of the ocean. The island. I can see it.”

“Get out of my head.” She grits, and her body tenses, pushing away from him, and his magnetic draw because how she wants him…

“I can see it all. I can take what I want.”

He moves to her line of sight and her eyes lock with his, and she breathes harder, and faster - as called for my the script and her own traitorous body that cannot say no. 

Their eyes lock and there, a subtle switch in his eyes, gone was the hunger, the power, the anger - in it’s place confusion. 

And for a second she was afraid so afraid because this was bigger than her. 

“Don’t worry, I feel it too.”

She’s sure it wasn’t in the script, but at that moment it felt right.

—

The Present

He’s too big, and too rough and she feels every vein, every curve, every inch of him as he fucks her. 

It’s been almost a month since he last touched her, almost a month since they finally broke it off and she thought she was better, she really did, except one look at him and all her walls crumble.

She loved him with everything that she was.

And so here she was, her premiere night dress a rag on the floor of his hotel room, his shirt torn his pants pooled at his knees.

And he was in too deep and he was going too fast and she was losing her mind as he makes her come, once, twice, thrice and still he keeps on ravaging her, as if there was no tomorrow. 

Her hands grip his hair and tugs and he hisses at the pain and he bites her lips in retaliation. 

“Adam, too much.”

She sobs as he hits her in that spot again and her legs shake and her hips piston up and down to meet him and she’s writhing and she pushes him to pull him closer and closer and he’s hot, and heavy and she was so so full of him.

“It’s not too much.” And he gentles his pace, his strokes going slower and longer and she shudders at his assault. He slides his hands down her thighs, grabs her knees and hitches it around his hips, driving him impossibly deeper into her.

He then wraps his arms around her and lifts her up and she wraps her arms around his shoulders, crying out his name as he licks a nipple, burying his face in between her breasts.

“It’s never too much.”

“Go with me. Adam, go with me.”

Her nails scratch as his back, his name on her lips as he drives into her, deep, deep, deep, and she falls, her climax arching her back and he hungrily seeks her lips as she tightens around him and he explodes in her, warm, hot, wet, filling her until she overflows with him, of him. 

And he slumps them forward and she’s buried under him, and she couldn’t take a breath without it being Adam, just Adam and she finds that she doesn’t mind.

—

2014

It wasn’t enough that he was princely and tall with hair that was just… so Adam.

It wasn’t enough that he smelled so good her stomach clenches whenever he so much as walks past her.

It wasn’t enough that he was built and that when he hugs her hello or goodbye she feels as if she’s enveloped in Adam.

No it wasn’t enough that he was one of the most beautiful creatures to ever grace the planet. 

He had to be funny too. In a dry, self deprecating way with jokes delivered in the same deep baritone that he did with everything else, that often it takes her five seconds before she bursts into laugher, recognizing that he said a joke when he smiles, that rare, beautiful Adam smile. 

That seemed only reserved for her and her alone. 

And it was during one of those days, when they were all in the studio doing voice overs and Adam was in particularly high spirits and she was just laughing and laughing, and laughing that Carrie came up to her and handed her a drink.

“The Solo boys.”

She glanced at them wistfully, Harrison and Adam, who did look every inch like father and son with their dreamy, whispy hair, and the masculine beauty stamped on their faces. 

“I loved him. I was nineteen, and stupid with it. But I loved him. Because he saw me, and rescued me, and saw me. I loved him the moment I saw him and I never stopped. That’s the curse of boys with long hair, and wicked smiles that make you feel like you hold the world in your hands.”

She gives Carrie the respect she deserves and doesn’t pretend she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. 

“He’s just… so… Adam. So very Adam.”

As if sensing her, or his name on her lips, he turns to her, and smiles, just this big, wide goofy charming Adam grin and she smiles back, as her heart jumps into her throat. 

She could stare into his eyes for the rest of her life. 

“Oh sweetie. He’s going to break your heart.”

“Yeah. Yeah he will. Is it stupid that I don’t mind?”

Carrie’s hand gripped hers as Harrison turned back to them and smiled at Carrie.

“No. Because I still don’t.”

She carries that with her as she marches to Adam’s trailer. He’s there in his room, his phone chucked to the side of him, and he was fiddling with his wedding ring. 

He looks up as she slams the door behind her and his hands nervously run through his dark hair.

He was just in a shirt. A plain black shirt that should not make her so aroused but it clings to his every muscle, to every sinew and she just… wanted. 

“Daisy?”

“What am I?

He looks confused for a minute and he stands up and puts his massive massive hands on her shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

She pushes close to him, her breasts pressed to his chest and his breath shudders out of his mouth. 

“What. am. I. Adam?”

Her hands fist at his shirt, over his heart and there was fear and hope and hunger in his eyes. 

“I… we… we can’t. We can’t Daisy.”

“Why not? What am I to you Adam?”

She pushes her face close to his, her lips a breath away from his and with a defeated sigh he cups her face and crashes his mouth to hers.

He tastes of toothpaste and something deep, hot and it was flooding her system. He tilts her jaw up and his mouth devour hers and his hand slips down her neck, her spine and cups her arse and drags her impossibly close and the shock of his erection brushing her stomach was to his advantage as he shoves his tongue inside her mouth. 

It wasn’t her first kiss.

But she couldn’t imagine anyone has been thoroughly kissed before Adam mauled her mouth.

He breaks away with a ragged breath and presses his forehead to hers, arms banded tight around her. 

“Everything. You’re everything.”

—

The Present

“You have to go.”

She murmurs to him as he holds her tight, his chest still heaving from the effort but his arms only tightened and she couldn’t breathe without smelling him, and he was everywhere.

“I can’t leave you. Not anymore.”

“Your son-”

“Fuck it.”

She shudders, and her breath catches in her throat and she makes a pained sound because this is exactly what she means - she cannot destroy his family.

She cannot take away a father from a son.

“Adam you don’t mean that.”

He shudders out a sob and pulls her tighter.

“I’m afraid that I might.”

“No. You wouldn’t be the man that I love if you did.”

She pulls back, but he doesn’t release his hold around her and she rests her forehead on his, tracing the contours of his cheek with her free hand.

“And I love you so dearly Adam. And I will wait for you. No matter how long it takes.”

“I… I’m filing for divorce, my son, my wife… Joanne - they deserve more than this. You deserve more than this.”

Twin terrors grip at her - terror for being a home wrecker, for hurting his wife, his child, for stealing a father away from a child. 

And terror at herself, for being happy… for wanting it so badly.

“I can’t do that to your family. You can’t choose me over your son.”

But she grasps at his arms because she imagines, oh how wicked and how cruel she was, she imagines her own dark haired baby, and Adam at her side. 

“Then what am I supposed to do? Can you tell me that, because I love you Daisy, so much that I can’t breathe, just loving you. So what else? What else can I do?”

She smiles even as tears drop from her eyes. 

“Love me. Just love me when you can.”

She pulls him close and hugs him, her ear against her heart, listening to the sound of his love.

—

2015

Seoul was different.

Joanne was not here. 

No one knew them - not yet anyway.

They were just two people, in a throng of tourists, in a busy capital that moved too fast, for them to be of any significance.

So this is what it was like, she thought, as Adam grabbed her hand, and they walked down the street,

This is how it was, to have your lover be with you. 

Lover. She shudders at the thought.

She went to boarding school.

Then drama school. 

She was trying to prove herself.

She was 23.

And she hadn’t been with anyone before. 

And Adam was… well he was massive, wasn’t he?

Massive and strong and nine years older than she was. 

And they haven’t really discussed anything. 

They haven’t definitively said what they were yet. 

But she hasn’t done anything like this before. 

And Adam was big and strong.

And she wasn’t sure if she’ll survive this fire.

They get back to her hotel room and he stays on her door, ever the gentleman. He won’t initiate it, giving her all the direction, all the control.

“Good night Daisy.”

He touches her cheek, and he smiles at her as if he was the luckiest guy on Earth and makes to turn away.

“Adam.”

She grabs his hands and he stills and waits. 

“Do you want to come in?”

—

The Present

“I want you to come with me.”

“To the Globes.”

“Yes.”

He looks at her with such sureness, such boldness but part of her knows it’s because of what she said. 

“You don’t have to prove anything to me Adam, I never should have said that.”

“But it’s true. You deserve so much more than what I gave you Daisy. I… took so much away from you, God you were so young.”

“It wasn’t your fault! I chose you. I chose this. Nothing makes it right but… I am not a child. You didn’t lure me or seduce me, I chose you. And I will keep on choosing you. You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

“Yes, but I don’t want to keep us a secret anymore. I’m divorced, I’ve been separated for years. I… love you. And it’s time I show you how much.”

It was a mistake. 

She knew it. 

But for him? 

For him she’d do it over and over again.


	2. Fever Dream High

**The Present**

"I can't believe you agreed to do a musical."

He groaned and buried his nose more firmly against her neck, refusing to let her go, or refusing the reality that he has to be up and on the way to hair and make-up right about now. 

"It's the only thing that was shooting here."

He was lazily tracing butterfly kisses up and down her neck that made her shiver and pull him close, shifting against him so her hips lined up with his. 

He hisses in response and his hands tug her closer, riding dangerously near her breast.

She giggles at the ticklish sensation and buries her face in his hair, nuzzles him as her fingers trace his jaw, his adorable ears until she cups his face and pulls him away from her neck to look at him.

"I would have stayed with you anywhere."

It's been six years that she's been together with Adam. And he still looks at her like that, all melty and gooey and it makes her heart stutter in her chest. 

He leans forward and presses a kiss to her lips, then rests his forehead on hers, nose nuzzling her cheek.

"I like it better here. It's easier, for us."

No paparazzi, no questions. The familiar clutch of guilt takes hold of her and Adam sighs and this time pulls her to his chest, his lips on her head.

"You didn't ruin my marriage. It was already crumbling when I met you. You saved me Daisy."

She burrows into him, hoping, against all odds, that it was true.

\---

**2014**

When Adam first saw Daisy, he was not a hundred percent sure they would have chemistry on set.

She was young. 

Almost a decade his junior and she was bright where he was dark.

There was a bounce to her step, a quiet joyfulness.

He was drawn to her from the minute he saw her, but he wasn't sure he can play off her energy.

He was wrong. Dead wrong. 

And now they were filming this blasted scene. It was hot under the mask, and so humid in the forest. He insisted on ill-fitting clothes to keep up the instability that was Kylo Ren and he almost cursed himself for wanting to stick to art over comfort.

He wielded the heavy saber in his hands, carefully following Daisy as she ran through the forest her breath heavy in the air. 

Then she looks at him, as he holds her in place, and reads her mind.

Her eyes were shot wide in fear, lips trembling, every muscle locked. 

And he approaches her from behind and he can't explain it. The visceral reaction in his body at her proximity.

 _A strange bond overcomes Kylo as he approaches Rey. A recognition. A knowing_.

That was the action the script called for and yet when he approaches her, the heat of her body singing along his and he hisses. And Daisy's breath catches in her throat as she feels his chest press against her back.

"Forget the droid. I've got what I need."

And he waves his hand and Daisy allows herself to go limp and fall, and then he catches her. 

Quickly, because Kylo does not want her to fall. And he hefts her gently, into his arms, like she was something precious. Carried her like a bride. 

She was so small, so tiny, and she feels warm against his chest. His Daisy.

She fit in his arms so well, his hands under her knees and shoulders and he wanted her close. Closer.

He blinks and shakes his head. No. Not Daisy. Rey. This was Rey. And he was Ren. 

Still when JJ called cut, and Daisy lifted her head and grinned at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and readjusting herself in his arms - he doesn't let her go.

And neither does she make a move to leave.

\---

It began a dangerous game of cat and mouse.

John was as gregarious as Daisy, often loudly hollering at the refreshment sector on set. Gwendoline was as loud as he was. Daisy often joined them and he would, against his better judgment, watch her. 

He was irked when John kept touching her and she was obviously uncomfortable with it and kept shrugging his arm off.

He saw her grimace as John refused to let her go and he who often sat alone or with Oscar to eat, stalked over to them. A silence hushed over them as Adam, tall and imposing looked down at Daisy.

"Daisy would you mind running the lines with me?"

Daisy looks up at him, blinks once, twice, thrice, before the largest grin breaks on her face and she's standing and eagerly nodding at him.

"Sure. Sure I'll run lines with you."

He doesn't know why, he doesn't get why she's so happy. He assumes it's because he got her away from John.

From then on out, Daisy always hung with Adam at his trailer.

\---

"Cut."

"I'm sorry."

Daisy sighed in frustration. She kept stumbling on her lines, unable to just tap in to her emotions. 

Kylo Ren reveals his face to her for the first time, and the Force Bond is first tested. She was scared and angry and feeling his emotions on top of her own and it's too much and she's overwhelmed.

"Hey."

He could see the tears on her eyes, the frustration. They've been shooting this sequence for three hours and JJ still was not pleased.

"Hey Daisy, look at me."

She sighed looked up at him. She was strapped down to this contraption, and he can see her getting antsy. 

"Take as much time as you need. You have this. I'm here with you. You can lean on me."

She huffs out a breath and closes her eyes. 

Breathes deep.

"Rey's afraid of you."

Ah. He taught her this. Another method of running lines with a co-star. Describing in words what you should be acting. 

"Yes. And so is he. Kylo Ren. But she tugs at something, something that hasn't been there for a long time. Sleeping. Ben. She wakes up Ben."

Daisy smiles, her eyes still closed. 

"You're in the very air she breathes, she's scared, and yet... something in the air. A bond. A connection. A Force."

He doesn't notice it, but he leans close to her, closer, his forehead touching hers. "You know I can take whatever I want." And his nose brushes hers, softly, faintly.

She opens her eyes and sucks in a breath, and his eyes lock with hers and God, Daisy is beautiful. So, so beautiful. 

"Adam."

She whispers and his name brought him out of his trance. He moves away quickly from her. And clears his throat. He looks around them as Daisy stares up at him, apprehension on her face. No one seems to have noticed, everyone was busy adjusting some light or a camera angle. But he turns and there was Carrie, strolling by to watch the scene. She smiles at him, a tight one and turns away to exit the studio. 

When JJ calls for the scene again, Daisy was there in it, with him, eyes locked on his, all the rage, and anger, and this budding hope that at last, at last, he was not alone. 

"Cut! That was great but you guys should breathe a little lighter, we're bordering on sexual here."

And that was just what Adam was most afraid of.

His eyes meet Daisy's again, and he feels a sliver of heat run down from his spine, straight to his groin. 

Yes. He had every reason to be afraid. 

\---

**The Present - The Golden Globes**

"I'll be moving to London for the year. You'll be getting the papers soon enough and as long as there's no contention-"

"You're giving up your paternal rights. To your own son."

This was what they were arguing about during the Globes. 

He was sure people heard them whisper screaming it at each other and he's sure tabloids will run blinds of him once more. He made a mental note to call his publicist. And Daisy. 

"I know she's young and beautiful Adam but how good of a lay is she that you would give up your own son?"

He scoffs at her. How is this possible? Daisy was supposed to be here, with him. Instead he was here, fighting a fight that will never have a happy ending. 

Daisy was gracious enough, but he wasn't. 

"My son. Are you sure?"

He never asked for a paternity test. This was a woman he once loved with all his heart. He wasn't going to do that. Not to her. But sometimes... enough was enough.

She blinks and he knows he's a shitty man for doing this to her. 

She sits on the bed and buries her face in her hands. 

And he sighs and slumps beside her. He shouldn't have said that. 

"I shouldn't have cheated on you. I know. I shouldn't have done all this. But we can't live like this Joanne. You can ahve everything, the apartment, half of the money, the car, all of it. I will be there for him, as his father, if that's what you want me to do, but..."

She laughs, borderline hysterical in her anger. 

"But what Adam? You wanted a younger vagina to fuck?"

"I love her."

He's never said it to her. Not out loud. Not wanting to hurt her, as he has now, as her face crumples and she cries, for the first time, true sorrow and misery in her face. 

"You loved me too."

"I did."

His wife, his partner, for almost half his life. 

"I imagined my life with you. I was happy. Until I wasn't. Until you weren't. You and I we've been separated before Daisy even came into the picture. This is not about her Joanne. She didn't break us."

She scoffed at that, but they had this conversation before. It only ended in screams and tears and he was done. 

He didn't want to do it anymore. 

"I'm sorry Joanne."

She wiped her tears and stood.

"I'll sign your papers. I don't need your money. I just hope you know when this breaks, your whore will not be spared."

She picks up her bag and stalks out of his room and slams the door.

That's exactly what he was afraid of.

\---

When he finally walks in to her flat, she has on her boxers and an old Julliard shirt of his and she had her headphones on as she stirred something in her stove and her hips were bopping along to it.

And everything wrong and miserable and shitty about his life vanishes because just look at her. Look at her, all sunny, and joyful and his.

That she loves him is still the biggest miracle of his life. 

He sneaks up to her and wraps his arms around her and she jumps and freezes before she relaxes in his arms and wiggles around to face him.

He knocks her headphones off her ears and she grins up at him as he leans down to press a kiss on her lips.

"Hi."

He whispers as she locks her arms around him.

"Hi back."

He stays like that, just holding her, hugging her, letting her warmth chase away everything. 

"So I didn't win."

"Screw them. You deserved it. No competition my arse."

He laughs and kisses the crown of her head as she snuggles her cheek against his chest.

"I want you to be there when I do win so... it's all good."

She goes silent, holding him tighter and he sighs, knowing she deserves to know.

"I'm signing my paternity away."

At that she gasps and pushes against his chest, her eyes round and afraid and... angry.

"Adam Douglas Driver!"

He winces. She only uses his full name when he has fucked up.

"If I contest that we would have to go to court, and it would be messy and protracted."

"Your son is worth messy and protracted. Adam, we talked about this, your child-"

"HE'S NOT MY SON!"

He bursts out and Daisy stills into shocked silence, further pushing him away.

"What? How is that even-"

"I haven't touched her, not since I first slept with you. I slept with her a full year before he was born. But he's innocent in all this. I don't want to say it, to condemn him in a world where his mother said some other guy was his father. I can't say anything about it. So I can be a villain. I can be the guy that abandoned his son. But no one can know abut him, but also... she can't keep using the little guy as a bargaining chip. I don't want him to feel as if he was a pawn in our games. So better to give in to what she wants. Better to let her destroy me as she sees fit. I can't play this game anymore Daisy. I can't keep going to award shows and pretend I don't miss you."

He pulls her close again and she has tears in her eyes now. And she holds him tight.

"I'm sorry Adam. I shouldn't have... I made your life into a mess haven't I?"

He hugs her tight, so tight she complained but he kept his hold into her.

"Daisy you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I think every decision I made has lead me to you."

She holds on to him, because he needs it, and because in a storm, sometimes all you need is someone who will hold on to you, no matter what.


	3. There Were Sirens In The Beat Of Your Heart

**The Present - California**

"Shit."

She had bronchitis, she thought.

She just took some antibiotics.

The doctor said it should be fine after two weeks.

"Shit."

She reached above her and ripped open another box, but there were already eight lined up on her bathtub, and her bladder refused to further cooperate.

"Shit."

He was campaigning for the Oscars. 

Their publicist told them it was not the time, now was not the time. 

People were already dubious because Adam's ring, a once very bright very yellow golden band is now a muted silver. 

Not many people noticed, Joanne still comes to his events. 

It was for his career. He was reluctant to do it but she forced it. She wasn't going to make him into a Leonardo.

But... Adam will not continue this. 

Not now.

Not when eight sticks keep telling her in various lines, crosses and now as she held the last test in her hands that flashed PREGNANT against her eyes that she was carrying Adam's child.

\---

**2015 - New York**

"You slept with _who_?"

Joanne screeched as he came to her and told her he wanted a divorce. 

"Joanne-"

"No! No! How could you do this? Adam, how can you do this? She's a decade younger than you!"

"Joanne-"

"Is that it?"

She laughs, a crazed edge to her voice as tears stream down her face too. He feels like a dick. He is the world's greatest dick.

"You wanted someone young and hot and whose tits point straight up? Is that it?"

How does he tell her?

He's never been tempted. Not once, and he had been with amazing and beautiful women. Never once did he think of straying. Never once. 

Daisy wasn't just that. 

"I'm in love with her."

That stops Joanne in her tracks. 

"Oh. Oh. Fuck you, Adam!"

She collapses into her knees and buries her face in her hands to cry. 

"I didn't see it coming. She's young. God she's so young. But she saw me, in a way you haven't seen me, not for a long while."

She raises her eyes up to glare at him. "So this is my fault? I haven't fawned over you enough? That you fucked another woman?"

"No Joanne. She accepted me for who I am. Not who she wants me to be. She looks at me and doesn't mind that I'm just a guy from Indiana, with no money in my pockets. She laughs at my manners, she likes that I don't like fancy wine, she gets cocktails with me at English bars and we laugh. We laugh. We fucking laugh. You shouldn't feel bad that I slept with her, you should be mad we had a laugh. When was the last time you and I ever did that?"

She couldn't say anything to that. 

And he didn't want to hurt her anymore than he should. 

"Get out Adam."

\---

**2019 - Japan**

"Condom."

He makes a move to get up out of bed but she refuses locking her legs tight around him. 

"I started the pill again, it's fine."

"You sure? You said after your bronchitis-"

"It's been 2 weeks. It's fine. I want to feel you Adam."

He groans and wraps his arms around hers, peppering her shoulder with kisses.

"How did I get so lucky with you."

He traced his kisses to her neck, suckling there as he lined himself up against her wetness, she shudders when he hits her clit and feels the grin spread on his mouth.

She tangles her fingers in his hair and tugs.

"No more teasing Adam."

She groans as he adjusts, and guides himself into her, and drives into her hard, fast, and swift where one second she was empty and needy and the next she was bursting with him.

A strangled gasp leaves his throat as his mouth trails down to suckle at her breast as he fucks her, fast and hard and deep.

"Is this what you want?"

"Yes."

"I love you, Daisy."

It never fails to amaze her, how he can fuck her so tenderly. 

She drags his head up and molds her lips to his.

"Love you. God, so good."

He laughs and presses his forehead against her, looking into her eyes as he empties inside of her.

\---

**The Present - California**

Adam finds her snivelling in the bathroom of their house.

"Dais?"

He rushes to her, crouching in front of her and wrapping his arms around her.

She sniffs and clutches his shirt in her hands. 

"Hey sweetheart, what's wrong? What's wrong?" He nuzzles her head, just holding her close.

"I fucked up Adam."

"In what sweetheart?"

"I'm... remember the time... in Japan?"

She wonders if he'll still hold her like this once she tells him. Wonders if this is the last time she'll get to hold him.

"Yeah. What about that?"

His hands were so warm and comforting. She won't know what to do without it.

"The pills didn't work Adam."

He stills because he wasn't an idiot.

It was then that Adam registers the scattered boxes and the stick she still clutched in her hands.

He takes it from her and stares at the little word blinking pregnant right back at him.

His lungs stop working, his heart stalls, a second, two, three, before it all comes back rushing to him, life thrumming and then... joy.

The uttermost, purest joy he has ever felt.

He turns to Daisy, his smile splitting his lips and with a holler presses a kiss to her mouth before the joy reached his limbs and he had to stand, keeping her in his arms as he twirled her around.

"Adam?"

She laughed at his reaction and he set her down and kissed her, once, twice, before kneeling before her and kissing her stomach.

"We're pregnant. We're going to be parents!"

She laughs at his joy as he continues to pepper her belly with butterfly kisses but her hands tense in his hair.

"Your Oscar... your divorce."

He shakes his head. "They can say what they want. But... I can't pretend to be with my ex-wife when you're carrying my child. Don't ask me to do that Daisy."

She looks into his eyes, that always always were so honest, like peeking into his very soul himself. 

And she can never deny him when he looks at her like that.

She hopes their child will not inherit it, when the time comes.

"I won't."

\---

She fidgets because this was supposed to be his Academy interview. It was supposed to be about his acting, and his talent. 

Not... her.

They styled her in the quintessential way every pregnant woman had been styled before her. Flowy dress, riotous curls, the picture of vitality and fertility except she can't help but feel that she was ruining Adam's career.

Honesty. Their publicist had mentioned after she almost tore out all her hair when she learned that Daisy was pregnant. 

Honesty, because you both fucked up, and you have to own up to it.

If people don't like you for it, at least they'll respect you for it.

"How did you two begin?"

Adam fidgets beside her, never been comfortable in front of the camera. 

"I fell in love with Daisy when she first started braiding my hair. It was when we were shooting for the Force Awakens and I was... content. My career was starting, I had a wife, I didn't have to wonder when I'm next going to have work. I was alright. Then I saw Daisy. And then I was anything but alright. You see I wasn't... happy. I spent my life trying to be something, other than a backwater kid from Indiana that I kind of lost track of being happy. She gave me that."

"So why didn't you divorce your wife then and there?"

"Because I was stupid? And I was scared to rock the boat of what had been until that moment a pretty stable life."

"Why now then?"

Adam looks to her, sitting behind the cameraman and the tension eeks out from his body and it was just him and her and she smiles. 

"Because I love Daisy. And sometimes that's enough."

\---

It was never going to be all good.

He did cheat on his wife.

She did wreck his home.

They told no one of the boy's true parentage. It was cruel to do that to him when he was innocent in all of this. 

But they didn't sugarcoat the truth, blamed no one but themselves, for the ultimate crime - loving someone you couldn't.

She went back on Instagram, the comments were vicious of course, but she learned. She learned to turn them off. She learned to just be. The first photo she shares is a picture of Adam against her four month belly that had no business being this big. He was in a white shirt, they were in an English meadow and she was pregnant with what is going to be the largest infant in the world. 

She doesn't know if it was because Adam was joyful, in the way he never fully was in public, she doesn't know if pregnant women just draw people in. 

But slowly, slowly.

They became less and less of pariahs.

\---

"So that time you guys got out of Adam's trailer-"

Gwen stopped, caught herself and shuddered at the thought.

"Doing it."

"The hotel in Ireland?"

Mark supplied as they all sat around in a table representing Star Wars in the Academy and supporting John Williams. 

"Doing it."

"The time we baked a cake in London?"

"Half doing it - I was a virgin then."

They all broke down at that, a loud laughter that felt good. It felt good to be out after all this while.

"I cannot believe you got knocked up by Driver."

Oscar mouths at her, at her giant belly and at her husband that was seating with his cast mates, and she opted not to sit with him, not wanting to steal this moment for him. 

"Yeah well, I'm not surprised." Mark supplies.

Everyone looks at him and he gestures. 

"Have you seen the kid's hands? Imagine how big his co-"

But Oscar stuffed a pastry in his mouth as everyone howled in laughter once more.


	4. Sick of Losing Soulmates

**2014 - California**

It began like this. 

On a particularly gruesome California summer, where she's stuck in a studio to train for the lightsaber fight with Adam. 

In her desert wear. 

And having a six-foot four big man coming at her with light saber raised and a feral glint in his eyes.

He hits her hand. 

And starbursts of pain appear behind her eyes. 

To her surprise it breaks his character, and his saber drops to the ground as he rushes to her side. 

"Shit. You okay?"

Her small hands were enclosed in his. Her eyes meet his, and there, was the stupid attraction. 

It flares and engulfs the both of them that gives a different character to the saber fight.

It wasn't in anger, it wasn't some action scene.

It was a dance, of two lovers sizing each other up.

She attacks him in his trailer after. 

He was still in his ridiculous ill-fitting cowl and she jumps up at him, legs around his waist and she shudders at the way his arms slide under her thighs, dragging her closer, holding her still. 

Her fingers tangle in his hair and she kisses him.

And how glorious had it been. 

She breaks off for air, for sanity as he presses his forehead against her, lips seeking hers.

"I've never had sex before."

He stills. Frozen at the admission, reality starting to trickle back in to them at her admission. The reality of her age, his age. His wife. 

But he holds her tighter to him. 

Gives in to the inevitability. 

"Then we'll take it slow."

She smiles, and he meets it, the frown lines relaxing on his face, charm oozing out and she kisses him again.

\---

**The Present - California**

The last thing Joanne was, is a fool. 

People may say what they want, that she's evil, she abuses him, whatever. 

But she was not a fool. 

It hadn't been right with her and Adam, not for a while. 

Julliard was a microcosm of possibility where she thought him and her would make it. 

But they didn't. 

He made it. 

And she became Cathy in The Last Five Years. 

She became someone who envied his success and he became someone who figured out what it was to be the next big thing in what he dreamed to do. 

But they were fine, they were making it. It was a phase she thought, just a phase. 

Until she saw the way he looked at Daisy Ridley. 

She was just visiting set. He was back in California doing stunt work and she just wanted to see what it was like. 

He was standing to the side, carrying his lightsaber, learning to do this one maneuver and Daisy was going through her forms. 

She hit herself in the head and she yells out a loud fucking cunt that she never expected a small woman to scream with such ferocity when Adam's face catches her eyes. 

Soft. He'd gone all soft on her, and watched as Daisy shook off her minor concussion and said again, and repeated all her forms. 

She wasn't very pretty at this point - sweaty, in yoga pants and a tank that has seen better days. Her hair was in disarray, and she was so red from the effort she resembled a tomato.

And Adam looked at her as if she was the only woman in the room. He didn't even notice her walk in. He just kept his eyes on Daisy, with that goofy adoring smile on his face.

She loved Adam because his eyes could never lie. They displayed every single emotion he felt even if he schooled everything else to be a stoic mask.

It was eyes that never looked at her like that.

Like she was the one thing he loved most in the world.

His affair was not a surprise.

That he wanted a divorce was not a surprise. But she'd gotten pregnant, and the father didn't want anything to do with it. And she knew Adam blamed himself. He didn't want a child to live the way he did. So even if he loved Daisy, he stayed with her. 

And she let him because he was Adam and she loved him. 

Except he was miserable. 

And he hated her. 

And truth be told if he didn't ask her for a divorce, she would have. 

"I'm telling him the truth."

She murmurs as she hands Adam the papers containing their divorce and the dissolution of his paternity. 

"That's why I wanted you to sign it. His father... he wants to give it a shot."

Adam's hands shake as he takes the folder from her. 

"I have to tell you something Joanne. It's going to hurt you."

She swallows, knowing what it could be. Accepting it before he even said it.

"Daisy's pregnant."

Pain. There, in the hopeful happy look in his eyes as he breaks the news to her. 

Daisy's pregnant.

His beautiful mistress, pregnant with his child. 

"I..."

"I can't... continue this with you. I can't pretend anymore, not when she's..."

"How... how far along?"

"Two months, there abouts."

2 months. He'd been sleeping with her even before he asked her for a divorce. 

"Adam-"

"I never stopped seeing her. Not even after our son-"

"My son."

The tears dripped down her face. He never stopped. Not even when she thought he did.

"Joanne-"

"It's fine. I made you take care of another man's child. And she's... I... I have to go."

"Joanne-"

She doesn't look back. She can't take his apology. Or his pity. 

Or the happiness lingering in his eyes.

\---

She'd been perfectly fine until she peed on the damned stick. Suddenly the knowledge of her pregnancy seemed to wake up the rest of her body as well.

Adam was wrapped around her like a big, heavy furnace and usually she loved the way he held her at night, where they occupy about a third of the giant bed they had but not today when she's all kinds of warm, and sick and she needs to vomit.

She makes to push Adam's arm, but his hold on her tightens like a vice.

"Adam, I'm going to be sick."

He didn't budge only pressed a kiss to her nape and cuddled her close.

"Adam, I'm not kidding."

He didn't move. And her stomach roiled.

"ADAM!"

She kicked him in the shin and he startled arms finally releasing and she bolted up from the bed, naked as the day she was born and proceeded to retch her dinner out over the toilet.

Adam followed in a flash, fingers pulling her hair back as she hugged the toilet to herself. 

When she was done he hefted her up into his arms, flushed the toilet and grabbed a bottle of water for her to gargle.

"Sorry, baby. I didn't know."

She groaned and buried her nose on the juncture of his neck and shoulder and clung.

"Your kid's not very happy at all this morning."

"My kid when she's causing trouble."

She grins and burrows into him when he settles them back on the bed.

"How do you know she's a she?" She asks him, comforted by his arms around her. She's been so tired, so very very tired.

"I hope she's a she. With her pigtails and her smile like her mom's. Maybe even an accent like her mom's."

She blinks and pulls away. 

"You can't-"

"I accepted the role in Last Knight. We film in London."

"But you wanted to work with Noah!"

"I can't be in this country when you're in the UK."

"We'll stay here, then."

"No. I'm not letting you be fodder for tabloids while you're pregnant."

"Adam-"

"It's good work. I never would have said yes if the script was bad. And I love London, walking like I'm a human being, just... being away from this."

"But you love New York too."

He shifts, so his hand rests over where their child lays, and lets his nose bump against her ear. "I love you more. I'm going to love being in London. And maybe one day we can go back here, but for now, I would be much more comfortable if we're there."

"Okay."

"Okay."

\---

**2017 - New York**

"Are you with him?"

Adam's form crowds her in the tiny bathroom in the otherwise lush apartment where Rian was hosting the cast party.

Adam's appearance raised a few brows - he wasn't expected afterall. He was filming for Marriage Story and he wasn't supposed to be here.

"Get out. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Are you with him Daisy?"

He all but hissed it, his arms caging hers, his face inching closer to her.

"Your wife is _pregnant,_ Adam. And you left me. You have no fucking right-"

He kissed her, swallowing her words, her anger, and she pushes him, her fists hitting him, but he was bigger than her and he traps her fists against his chest, and she damns him, because she loves him so much, loves him to the end of the Earth that she kisses him back.

It was brutal, and bruising and her lips bite into his that makes him gasp allowing her mouth to be released from his, and she latches on to his neck, biting him, bruising him, marking him. 

Adam. My Adam.

"You're mine." She whispers against his neck and he wraps her in his arms as she weeps, because he hurt her and the thought of never being with him hurts her it almost rips her apart.

"I'm yours Daisy. I love you. I love you. I'm so sorry."

His lips trace across her temple, her cheek and he holds her close. So close.

"Please don't be with him. Give me time, I'll figure it out."

"You're a fucking asshole Adam."

"I know. But please, please Daisy."

She holds him tighter, a beat, a second, cementing how he feels in her arms then she lets go.

"I can't wait for you forever."

She waits for him to say it. He'll leave his wife, he'll be with her. 

When he doesn't she walks out the door.

\---

He's the first phone call she makes when she makes it up to the lobby of the hotel. She doesn't want to go to her room. Doesn't want to be alone.

"Daisy?"

She doesn't say anything, the sound of his voice a balm to her, as she shakes and shivers in front of her hotel.

"Daisy what's wrong?"

There's more urgency to his tone now, and she opens her mouth and a loud keening noise meets her and it takes her a moment to realize it was her.

"Slow down, slow down breathe. Just breathe. Where are you?"

"I'm... at the Plaza... there was a man.... he followed..... Adam, I'm scared."

"I'll be there okay? I'll be there."

She doesn't know how long she stayed huddled outside the lobby, just hugging her arms and trying to be as small as possible.

"Daisy!"

Then she's in his arms, he was sweaty and clammy as if he ran here, his hair was wild and stuffed under a baseball cap, and he was in a dark shirt.

And then she's crying and holding on to him and his lips are on her hair, his hands rubbing and and down her back.

"I'm here. I'm right here. You're safe."

"I was so scared." She was shivering and grimly he lifted her in his arms, her legs around his waist.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm here now."

He kept murmuring to her as he carried her inside to her hotel, not noticing the rapid clicks following their appearance.

\---

"You're fucking?!"

Rian wasn't exactly happy. 

So was the Disney PR rep who had to pay for a pap's kid's college education for the footage. 

And neither were their PR reps.

"It's not her fault, she had a stalker, she was scared. It wasn't a motherfucking booty call."

His hands twisted around each other and she wanted nothing more than to touch him to get him to calm down. 

"The issue is we don't know if this is the only leak. You signed a fucking modesty clause, you can't be involved in scandal. You're wife's pregnant!"

His PR rep looks like he was going to blow a fuse anytime now. 

"It's done, we'll be careful. And I'm not making an announcement about the pregnancy."

His PR rep looked at him. And back at Daisy. And sighed.

"Is the baby fucking yours Adam?"

"I'm not going to say anything about the kid."

"Just answer-"

"I'm not saying anything."

"Are you two together? How am I spinning this? Is this like Brangelina or what?"

Daisy looks at Adam, and she hates herself for the tiny smidgeon of hope that he would finally be with her now that it's all out in the open.

"No. Just make it disappear."

And just like that her heart was crushed.

\---

**2018 - London**

"Adam?"

He was drenched in rain, he was still in the sweats and the hoodie that he came from the plane in on. His hair was longer than it ever had been and there was a glint of anger in his eyes.

He pushed her into her apartment, mouth latching on to hers. He tasted of the cigarettes he liked to smoke when it was raining, and he was massive and hulking and she missed him. 

"I'm going to make you forget there was every anyone but me."

He gasps out, his voice dangerously low as his hands trail up her thighs and underneath her sleep shirt, to cup her breasts and pull her close while his mouth latches on to her neck.

"There hasn't been anyone, but you."

She couldn't sleep with Tom. Not when the feeling of Adam was ingrained deep in her. Even though it's been near to a year. 

He groans at the admission, his hardness pressing against her belly. 

"I haven't touched anyone since I touched you."

She doesn't believe it. Not when his wife just gave birth to a son. But just this once, just this once, she lets herself believe.

\---

"I'm shooting a musical."

"You? A musical?"

"It's the only job that would put me here in London."

She rolls over, and he groans as her breasts rub against his arm and he ducks down to latch on to a sensitive nipple and lap at it with his tongue.

"Fuck, Adam."

Her hands tangle in his hair as his hand slips down over her hip and in her crease where she was again wet for him. She groans when his fingers press on her clit, burrowing her face in his hair as his mouth releases a breast to nuzzles the other. 

"What are we doing?"

He kisses her in between the valley of her breasts, right where her heart is and pulls back to look at her.

"Loving you. I'm loving you Daisy Belle."

And he kisses her and she stops all semblance of thought.

\---

**Summer 2020**

"Okay." 

They had to be back in California, for interviews, for meetings. After Adam's surprising best actor win there were just too many things to do

And she wanted the summer sun for a while because London didn't get the memo that it was supposed to be warm and pleasant and remained the gray skied annoyance she has come to know. 

Her belly, now officially in it's seventh month resembled a cross between a very large beach ball or a very small house. She can hardly see her feet and there was a foot, sticking out of her skin. 

Incessantly kicking at her.

"Baby, you have to let mummy get her sun."

She rubbed a hand over the foot and it thumped back at her in response. She blew out a breath and sighed. She wanted Daddy's voice of course.

"Honey, daddy's not going to be here, you have to stop kicking me."

Three angry kicks this time and sighing with a grumble she picks up her phone and angrily dials her husband.

\---

When his phone rang in the meeting with Guillermo Del Toro himself, his publicist almost slashed him with her eyes. "It's my wife. She's pregnant, I'm sorry."

Del Toro merely raises an eyebrow at him and motions him outside. 

"Daisy Belle?"

"Your daughter will not stop kicking me."

He laughs at the annoyance in her voice. When he left the house this morning she was determined to have a peaceful lie down, in her tiny bikini on their patio to get sun before they have to return to London.

The sight of her in the brightly yellow pieces of triangle that she absolutely spilled out of glued his tongue to the roof of his mouth and he almost did not make it to this meeting. 

"Let me."

There was a rustle and then Daisy's voice murmuring at him that he's on speaker.

"Hi baby. Daddy here. You're giving mommy a hard time? You have to stop kicking her you know. That's not nice. Daddy's going to be home soon."

He croons and Daisy laughs. "Okay, she's stopping, but I think she wants her night night song."

Which was of course the song he composed for her mother. Daisy Belle. 

He finishes the song and his wife gives a sigh of relief.

"She's stopped. She's going to be such a daddy's girl when she gets out."

He laughs and rubs at his eyes. "You want anything when I get back?"

"No I have dinner covered. Just get yourself back here."

"Will do."

"I love you!"

"Love you."

He clicks off with a smile on his face and re-enters the room. 

Everyone was giving him a smile. 

"My daughter, she kicks a lot-"

"We heard."

He flushes and Guillermo looks at him up and down.

"Your wife... would she be interested in the part?"

\---

_Adam and Daisy: Following Paul and Joanne_

_It's been a big year for Academy Award winner Adam Driver. After starring as Ben Solo in the much debated Star Wars sequels, and gaining critical acclaim with his role as Charlie in Marriage Story alongside Scarlett Johanson, a role that lead to his first (of many) Academy Awards - Adam Driver is still an unstoppable force._

_His roguishly handsome face, similar to that of a Byronian hero brooding over the moors, with the dramatic cascade of ink black hair covering comically large ears, paired with a body that can only be described as massive - is of course completely out of place with the bib draped over his shoulder to protect his shirt from his daughter's spit._

_"Sorry, Daisy's running a bit late."_

_He murmurs with a grin on his face._

_Of course, no Academy Award can compete with Driver's greatest accomplishment of the year - being married to actress Daisy Ridley - who played Rey Skywalker, the Force twin of Ben Solo. And welcoming their daughter, a mere 6 months after the wedding was done and only a year since his divorce with ex-wife, actress Joanne Tucker._

_"It's been crazy. Of course. There's a lot of things about my divorce and my marriage and things that have been said about Daisy, that you know... is difficult and confusing and I have a newborn. So you pick what's important. And right now it's my marriage, and my baby and the rest is just... noise."_

_There's chaos in the Driver household in New York. The non-descript Brownstone in Brooklyn Heights is filled with books and toys scattered on the living room floor. "Tummy time." Driver says with a smile. Again a word that I would never have expected to come from the mouth of an ex-Marine._

_There's an intensity to Adam. A kind of awkwardness at possibly sticking out for all of his life._

_An intensity that fades as soon as the door to the brownstone opens and in comes the sunshine of his life as well._

_"Fucking A the weather's nasty as balls. Oh shit, is the baby awake?"_

_Of course Adam only laughs at his wife's notorious dirty mouth, made viral during her acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actress at the BAFTAs for Shakespeare in Love, a retelling created by Guillermo Del Toro himself of a modern version of characters made popular by Gwyneth Paltrow herself. As soon as she enters the room it is clear that whatever happened in between them in the six years of Star Wars, love is the underlying root of everything._

_No one smiles like that at each other if they were not madly in love._

_Adam and Daisy don't comment on anything regarding his divorce, their marriage and the timeline of their relationship although fans and tabloids alike cast their own opinion. Daisy had recently returned to social media after a four year hiatus, sharing snippets of her everyday life with Adam and their baby they named Lily Sky Driver._

_"I wanted her to have a flower name, Daisy insisted on naming her Rey but I refused to do that so we compromised on Sky."_

_Lily was very obviously a Daddy's girl, from the countless stories Daisy shows of Adam and Lily sleeping or singing together._

_"It's difficult because she's never going to... have a normal life in a sense. People will always know things about her dad and I that are just not the same for other kids her age. So we try to make it as normal as possible. Being in London helps because people don't really care much about us there, but then we go to LA or New York and it's a bit different. But we don't complain, it's our life, and we like it."_

_At that point their daughter started to fuss and Daisy grabbed her from her husband and pressed a kiss to his brow. "Be right back, feeding time."_

_Adam looks highly uncomfortable so I throw him a question that is for sure to put a smile on his face._

_"So, when did you and Daisy start?"_

_As predicted he laughs._

_\---_


	5. When People Knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets of when people found out about Adam and Daisy.  
> And more of Joanne's POV

**The Present - Summer 2020, New York**

"You look good."

"Thank you."

"Big."

She smiles at her. Daisy Driver, with her pregnant woman glow, smiling at her from across a nondescript coffee shop in Brooklyn. 

It's official she has seen everything. 

"Are you... are they twins?" She was only six months pregnant but she looks like a beached whale ready to pop anytime. 

"No she's just big. I shouldn't be surprised with Ad-"

Daisy flushes and looks down at her cup, fiddling with the rim of it. 

Her fingers were bare, despite the photos of the ring she's seen. 

"It's fine. Adam is big. That's how I knew my son wasn't his. My son was born too small for his age. No kid of Adam's will ever be too small for his age."

All the elephants in the room, laid bare on their table. 

"Joanne, I never got the chance to apologize..."

Daisy trails off, and with a sigh she presses a hand to her side.

Concern crosses Joanne and she reaches forward for Daisy's hand. "You okay?"

Daisy jumps at her touch, and she herself is shocked at her own actions. Women, it seems will stand up for each other, especially when carrying another human.

"She likes to kick me. Only Adam's voice can calm her."

Daisy sighs again and tightens her hands on Joanne. "I'm sorry."

For having an affair with your husband.

For falling in love with him.

For making him the happiest man alive.

For carrying his child.

For living the life she imagined would be hers.

She pulls away because even then, the rift is too big. The mistakes too many. 

"I hated you."

She tells her truthfully as she continues to rub at where her giant baby was kicking her. 

"I know. I hated you too."

Joanne grins, she can see it, why Adam fell in love with her.

"I thought it was because your tits pointed up, and your vagina was tighter. At first I thought you were something he can fuck out of his system. So I let him carry on, I stayed at home and became a dutiful wife, while he came home smelling of you. He didn't shower after you, did you know that? He'd come home from fucking you, and lie on our bed, your cum on his fingers and fall asleep like that? He'd fall asleep smelling you. He didn't even bother to touch me. The one time I tried, he flinched. As if I repulsed him. I washed our sheets everyday, because it would smell of you."

Daisy flushes, red to her ears, unable to meet her eyes. "I... I don't even know what to say..."

"I fucked another guy about a year after you both. I didn't love him. Not the way Adam loved you. I thought he'd be angry, but you know what he was? Relieved. He was relieved because he couldn't even fuck anyone else after you. I tell my husband another man came inside of me and he looks so relieved."

The bitterness colors her tone, even now remembering the horror brought about by that episode. The eagerness in Adam's voice as he asks what this means. The hope that it was his ticket to a divorce.

"When you were papped with that co-star of yours, he trashed our living room. I had a sonogram that day. He didn't come. Instead he went to Rian's party. And he came home smelling of your pussy. I've never seen Adam angry before. He was livid that day, devastated. I showed him the sonogram. He couldn't even look at it. That's when I realize, holding him hostage with a baby that wasn't even his, a baby that he was just trying to do right by because he things it's his fault I had an affair will not make any of us happy. But I love him you see. I love him so dearly I couldn't... so he stayed for a year more. But he never stopped loving you. He never told me again, but you never stopped fucking didn't you. He was always signing autographs. With you. He moved to London to be with you. He spent more time with his dog than he did with the baby. God I hated you. Everyday I prayed you would get Herpes or Gonorrhea or that your tits will sag."

She smiles ruefully. Daisy's puce shaded by now, saying nothing, because what do you say to the woman who had to smell your cum on her husband for two years?

"When he finally asked for a divorce I was just relieved. So relieved. You got engaged and he saw a life without you and I think he couldn't take it. He went wild with grief. He broke down, you know? He came from shooting your last film, your last scene, and he hopped on a plane, and he just couldn't. He asked me for a divorce and got on a cab and flew all the way back to you."

She takes Daisy's hand again this time and grips tight.

"I don't want you to say anything. I don't want your apology. You know I can't possibly forgive you. But I agreed to meet you to tell you this. Because Adam never will. I needed to meet you to tell you how much Adam loves you. And how you need to treasure that. I needed to tell you so you know how precious you are, what he gave up for you, and for you to never forget that. Love him, in the way I could not. Just love him, that's all I want from you."

Daisy's eyes fill. And she wraps Joanne's hand with another one of hers.

"He's everything to me. I'll love him and take care of him. I promise."

Daisy pauses and finally meets her eyes. God she was pretty. All rosy cheeks, and chestnut curls. So young, so... alive. 

"He loved you too." Daisy mumbles at her. And Joanne shakes her head.

"He chose to stay with me for the baby. You never had to spend a night sleepless smelling another woman's pussy. I get to hate you more."

At that Daisy laughs. 

They will never be friends, too much damage, too much issues in between. 

But there was forgiveness. And maybe it was enough.

\---

**2016 - California**

It wasn't a secret that John likes Daisy, has a big crush on her in fact. They'd gotten to be good friends over the filming of the first movie. 

He thought that naturally, filming the second movie he'd have a shot. He started sending feelers out to her, sitting beside her during cast lunches and trying to get her attention. But she was busy. Training with Adam. Doing scenes with Adam. And of course like a fool, he didn't think much of it. 

Carrie looked at him with pity in her eyes. 

He just wanted to ask her if she wanted to get food with him, and maybe a drink from the pub.

He didn't knock at her trailer, used to letting himself in. She got an upgrade now, her trailer had a room in it separate from where all the prep was and so he was just about to raise his voice to call her when he hears him.

Adam.

"Fuck, Daisy."

His voice was low, all that Kylo Ren voice that girls went crazy for that he didn't really understand.

"No touching. I told you Adam."

Daisy's voice, teasing, lilting and followed by a hiss from Adam himself. 

"Unless you beg me."

She giggles at something, and she laughs and laughs as he stands frozen on her trailer door, unable to go in, because he knows. He knows what this is.

"Please? Please Daisy please, I need to be inside your pussy, please, let me fuck you."

Adam's voice comes in growls and he hears the sharp edge of Daisy's moan before he hightails it out of her trailer. 

She's fucking him. 

She's fucking him. 

At first he didn't understand. She was young and beautiful and single and she could have anyone. And he was old. So much older than her, with a wife and he looked weird, some would even say he looked like a horse. 

Maybe it was the role. That's what he told himself. Maybe it was some weird method acting thing that they got from the posh acting schools they went to.

That's what he told himself as Daisy kept rejecting his offers again, and again and again to hang out with Adam. 

To fuck Adam fucking Driver. 

And that's when he noticed it. It was simple, brief, and he would have totally missed it had he not been watching them like a hawk for these past few days. 

It was the battle in Crait, and everyone had red sand itching up against their eyeballs. It was the big scene, between Mark Hamill and Adam Driver and everyone gathered for it, as if Adam was this big superstar. He just didn't get it, didn't see his draw. Sure he was tall, and the hair that was princely and all but he looked very much like a buffer Snape and he just didn't get it.

He wanted to get some shade, and some water when he rounds the trailers and he's there, leaning on Daisy as he pins her between the wall of his trailer and his body. They removed his cape at least, the iconic scene over, and he was in tight fitting black pants and a shirt.

"Aren't you sweltering in this?"

Daisy's hand brushed up over his hair pushing it away from his face and he smiles at her. He's never even seen Driver smile before and he's all megawatt charm with Daisy. "I am, but it's better with you."

He wraps his arms around her, that same goofy smiley look on his face as he buries his nose in her hair.

"Always better with you."

And Daisy grins, her fingers playing with the ends of his long hair.

And it hits him, it wasn't a simple affair. Not just that. Never that.

They were in love. 

That in the middle of a hot fucking desert, with sand everywhere they can hug like that and look as if they won the lottery.

John hated Adam from that point on.

Jealous of the way Daisy's eyes follow him everywhere. Jealous of the way Daisy would suspiciously have something else to do before a cast dinner, disappearing with Driver to the Lord only knows where. 

Jealous of the way his character bloomed under Adam's superb acting. 

And how he got critical acclaim, after critical acclaim. 

"The focus is on Finn right, as a defected Storm Trooper?"

He asks Rian as he was watching Adam make moony eyes at Daisy.

"Ben and Rey. That's our focus. People loved Ben Solo, and the tortured way-" He didn't even let Rian finish. Because Daisy is sitting in Adam Driver's lap in front of everyone and no one batted an eyelash. 

They all knew, he thought. They weren't deaf or blind they could hear the fucking that comes from the trailer on a daily basis. But everyone was under an NDA, and everyone rooted for them, and so they became Hollywood's best kept secret. 

And his jealousy fanned anew. 


	6. Fuck It, What Else Are You Young For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time.  
> Adam and Joanne get closure (this is probably the last I will write of Joanne, I feel like I exhausted her story line and gave myself catharsis)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been reading your comments and I love you all! I'm a bit busy with school work and I want to take time to reply individually to all your lovely comments. But please give me time - and please leave me all the messages I will get back to you as soon as my life is in order!
> 
> P.S. Request more Daiver scenes you would want to appear in the thing! Also please share your theories, I am fairly new to Daiver because I refused to come to the Dark Side before but I am hopeless against it.
> 
> My timelines jump a lot - depending on what I want to write about, and which aspect of their relationship I want to explore and what new thing I read on Reddit. I'm very interested about how they started, and that period of time in 2017 where Adam was ringless and now that they're a bit stiff with each other and everyone is saying they fizzled out which makes me so sad, so most of my chapters are forward looking instead of how it started.

**2014 - California**

His fingers drove deep inside of her and she swears she sees stars burst from behind her eyelids. 

"Fuuuuuck me."

She feels his mouth curve against her cheek, and she tugs at his sweaty hair so she can see his eyes as she spasms around his two fingers, still moving so rapidly inside her, driving her higher and higher. 

"Such a dirty mouth. I love hearing you, Daisy Belle."

He leans down and bites her lower lip, sucking it into his own mouth as he keeps his eyes steadily fixed on her.

That was enough to make her orgasm again and her back arches off the bed as she bucks her hips trying to stop him, as his fingers curve up and press almost harshly into the walls of her vagina.

"Adam. Stop. Fuuuuuck, I can't, I can't please, please."

Her legs tighten around his hips as he pulls his fingers out and rubs his erection on the folds of her pussy, his large head hitting her clit.

"One more, one more. Stay with me." He murmurs as he hitches her legs tighter around his hips and slides his body on to hers and grasps her fingers, tight on the headboard and sheets, and grasps it with his.

She burns where his cock rubs against her and she's loud, she knows she's so loud, and anyone can here them but she was burning, and she needed, she needed.

"ADAM, FUCK."

He laughs and groans as he swallows her cries with his own mouth as her legs shake, literally shake from her orgasm and her hips buck against his and her walls squeeze around him and his angle shifts and he slips and suddenly he's against her entrance.

"Fuck, so tight." He buries his face in her neck as he shudders. Shudders against her. 

He hasn't broached sex yet, they've all but done it, so patient with her, so loving with her. 

These past few months on set with them filming, them being in their own little bubble was amazing for her. 

They go out on dates.

They drink in pubs.

They get ice cream and walk on the marina. 

They go home and do everything but actually fuck. 

And she wakes up in his arms, smelling of him, surrounded by him and she can easily see this, the rest of her life stretched out in front of her. Being with Adam like this. 

And suddenly she's not afraid anymore and she arches, up against him, until his head breaks in her, and enters her.

She gasps and stills, she knows he was big. 

She knows he was massive. 

But this. 

This.

Was being split into two.

He was so big, and so strong.

She didn't know how she'll survive this.

"Daisy, what the fuck."

His hands tighten on hers and his hips pull up trying to draw away from her, but her ankles lock behind his back and keeps him still, the head of him, just the head of him inside of her.

"I want you."

She squeezes his hands that are now gripping hers like a vise and she raises her head, brushes her nose against his, in an Eskimo kiss too innocent for when you have a guy's massive dick about to split you in half, and she presses her lips against his.

Soft, slow, all her love in the press of her mouth against his and he softens and kisses her back, and it was beautiful and sweet and this, this was how she wanted her first time to be.

With a man she loved.

Her fingers flex, as she pulls away from him, her eyes wide.

Shit.

Fuck.

She loves him.

She really really loves him.

The cry yourself to sleep

Have screaming fights

Make up with sex

Live happily ever after 

Loves him. 

"Daisy what's wrong?"

Her eyes water, because he was so tender, his hand releasing on of hers to cup her cheek, and nuzzle his nose against her, his hips still so still, but she can feel the tension in him, the effort to not move.

"Adam, please."

She shifts her hips and he inches a little deeper into her, and they both groan at the delicious sensation. She grips his wrist, on the hand still on her face and rains tiny kisses on his nose.

"Adam, make love to me."

That was the first time she said that.

Fuck me was something that was always her plea.

He shudders, and tears mist at his eyes, her loving sensitive man, her Adam.

"Love me, Adam."

And his hand tilts her chin up and he kisses her, soft and slow and deep, she almost doesn't notice that he's pushing, and pushing, until he reaches her barrier, and she's so full of him, he's everywhere, and she's so stretched tight she doesn't know if she can take more.

She whimpers as he inches forward more, but he releases her mouth and tucks his head against hers, cheek to cheek his breath on her ear.

"Stay with me, it's going to hurt a bit. But stay with me."

His hands reach up again to grip hers, and his lips trail from her ear, to her neck, and latches on to a nipple, sucking and laving and when it was too much for her, he pushes against her, fast, hard and swift, and there was pain, and tearing and burning and then he stills, she can feel his balls against her ass and her walls squeeze around him and she moans, because she was full of Adam, she can feel every ridge, every vein, and the throbbing of his cock inside her. 

She was so full of Adam. 

And her hands scrabble to pull his face from her breast to her lips, and she was wild with him, delirious with him.

"You feel so good. So big inside me. You have to move, please move Adam."

He groans, hisses, says nothing but to shower her face with kisses and his hips pull back almost all the way out until all but the head is inside her and he pushes back inside, one second empty and the next she was bursting.

"So good. So good. Please, more, please, please. Adam. Adam."

He keeps his pace slow, moving in and out of her slowly, until she stretches, until her wetness drips down her thighs and onto him, until her hips rise up to meet his, and he's hitting her somehow deeper, and deeper and she's incoherent at this point, her hands grasping at his back, in his hair, tugging, scratching her legs tight around his hips and as he angles up he hits her at just the right place and she comes undone under him, her legs shaking, back arching and she was squeezing him, tight, so tight that he loses it, and pulls all the way out and slams back into her, faster and faster and faster, until he hears his own balls slapping against her and she's wailing again, fingers twisting painfully in his hair.

"ADAM." She screams as she comes with him, as he comes inside of her, filling her with him.

She can feel him squirting into her, hot jets of fluid hitting deep, so deep inside her and then finally he collapses on her, knocking the air out of her lungs, but she holds tight, her legs around him, arms on his shoulders, hands in his hair, and his cock still hard inside her.

She was surrounded and filled by Adam and there's nowhere else she'd rather be.

She passes out from under him, arms going slack, breathing evening and he was still inside her. He draws away a little, and looks down at her, sweaty tendrils of hair plastered on her cheeks, and he brushes it away. She was so tiny, so delicate. His. 

God, he'd known from the moment he first kissed her, known it in his very soul. He loved her.

He will love her for the rest of his life. 

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he keeps it in him, the love he cannot give her, the love he will always have for her.

\---

He can't stop smiling at her as they sit on the pier, her ice cream in hand.

She looks so happy like this, her hair stuffed under a cap, his shirt too big on her, tucked in her shorts, her adorable Birkenstocks on her feet, his hand caught in hers. 

God he loves her.

She squeezes his hand and grins up at him, ice cream smeared on her face.

"I can't believe you hate ice cream."

"It's cold, and slimy. Cake. Cake is the decent dessert."

It surprises him, just how much he can speak to her. How he can open himself up. 

"Oh my god, please tell me you're not the fancy cake guy!"

"What's a fancy cake guy?"

"You know, the one who goes on cafes and shit, and gets things like Matcha Chocolate Souffle or some shit."

"Actually that sounds really nice right about now."

She mock gasps and giggles at him, and she swings their hands in between both of them.

"What's your relationship with your mother like?"

He asks out of the blue and he wants to kick himself in the face because they've only known each other for about three months... and okay he's come inside her multiple times but this is a different intimacy-

"My mother's great. An amazing woman to look up to. She was a banker. But... she wasn't really around. She was busy, she was at work six days a week, 18 hours each day. We had Sunday dinners but even then she was on a phone or handling some crisis. My dad was away a lot for his job. He's a photographer. So it was mostly me and my sisters. Rose raised Poppy and I. I love my mum, I do. But I never got to know her, you know? She was just this figurehead... she was mum but she never braided my hair, or told me a bedtime story. I was baby number 3 and the shine of me kind of... rubbed off. That was Rose for me. She's... the voice inside my head."

He heard the loneliness in her voice and he tugged her close to him, tucking her under his arm and she grins, wrapping her arm around his waist and grinning up at him, inhaling deeply at his shoulder, pressing a tiny kiss there.

"I went to boarding school at age nine. And I guess my mum never really had time to be... mum. I love her, and she's great, but she never knew me you know? I think that's the sad part."

"Were you lonely in boarding school?"

She shrugs, swallowing the last of her ice cream cone before wrapping her other arm around Adam, walk-hugging with him and she looked so cute that he pulled her to his chest and swivelled them so they were looking over the ocean and he can nuzzle her neck.

She kisses his forearm, and places her hands over his where they band around her.

"I was. I had friends, it was always loud, my roommate is amazing, but I was lonely. I didn't have family you see. Nothing that was my own."

She rubbed her hands against his, thinking that he too, was not her own. 

Shoving the thought away, determined to make the most of her day with her Adam she turns to him and grins. 

"How about you? What was it like, in Indiana? Were you close with your step dad?"

"They raised me right. It wasn't... I wasn't neglected, or anything. My sister was the ideal child. She did her homework, she went to Church, she sang in choir, she went to college. I was... always angry. I was a lot closer with my dad, saw him as my hero. And my grandpa was the best. Then my mom moved us from Arkansas to Indiana and I was just angry. At her, at my dad, at my other dad. I wasn't... unloved, I think they just didn't know what else to do with me. But they never stopped loving me. I think if they didn't push me, if they didn't discipline me, if they allowed me to be a bum and live off of them - I wouldn't be here. But I wish they... I don't know, were nicer about it. I wish they talked to me more instead of making me feel like... I was a fuck up."

"You're not a fuck up."

Her hands tighten on his arm and he smiles and kisses her head.

"I was... such an outcast in Julliard. I came from the army, I was still angry and it was hard to make friends. I had no manners, no poise. And Joanne was the only one who saw me. She taught me how to eat at a fancy restaurant, and not to spit on sidewalks. I fell in love with her. I think it's because I just needed someone to love and channel the anger into something else."

It was weird, talking about his wife to the woman he loves. But she didn't mind, she wanted to hear it. Hear about him. 

"But the thing is, at the core, people don't change. We can try, we pretend to be happy, but at the core, we don't change. We don't stop being the angry kid from Indiana, or the lonely beautiful princess from London. I wanted someone to change me, what I really needed was someone to love me, for me."

Her breath hitches, because in the many times he made love to her, in the many times he filled her with him, it was impossible not to know, how much she loved.

It was impossible not to know how much he loved. 

"Thank you Daisy. For loving me just as I am."

He murmurs it quietly against her ear and she stops the urge to cry, instead turns and kisses him, right there, in the sunlight, on a pier, on a balmy afternoon, as if they have all the time in the world. 

"Thank you Adam. For loving me as I am."

She whispers when she pulls away. 

It wasn't the three words she wanted to say. 

But they know. 

They know.

But they can't say it. So they stay locked in each other's arms, as the sun faded into the night.

\---

**The Present - December 2020**

There was spit on his shirt as he walked into the AITAF conference room, which he hastily covered with a thrown on cardigan. 

There were circles under his eyes. 

His hair was long, and messy and his face was shaved bare.

He was happy. 

Practically bouncing on his feet as he waved good morning to their staff.

He's been in the organization of course, still actively putting together shows for the military all over the world. But his paternity leave for the past two months made it a lot harder to work without his creative vision. 

Their staff found it odd that she didn't leave. But this was work, and she believed in her foundation and what they built. She and Adam and Daisy agreed that professionalism comes before anything else. 

But still there was a tug in her heartstring at the simple blissful joy despite the fatigue under his eyes. He never helped much with her son. He was always working during the time, he filmed Silence in Japan when she gave birth. He wasn't... at all there. In the way he was for his daughter. His actual child. 

"Boss, we should maybe get you and your wife to do a Christmas message to get donors for..." Their social media intern blushes, as he registers the words out of his mouth and looks down at his shoes. 

Adam colors a bit too, and he opens his mouth like a fish in the water and she decides to take pity on him and places a hand on Robbie's shoulder. "That's a great idea Robbie. If Daisy doesn't mind, Adam?"

Everyone waited as Adam swallowed and flicked his hair away from his face - a nervous gesture. 

"Yeah. Yeah. She asked if we needed help with anything... but with the baby, and all..."

"You should include her too. Lily. Daisy's posted snippets of her on Instagram, we can include things like her feet, or her hands..."

"But... Joshua..."

She smiles, and sighs. Always the hero, always trying to save her. 

"Everyone and their grandmother knows you aren't Joshua's father, Adam."

The silence that engulfed the room was enough that a pin drop could be heard here. 

"It's alright, we're divorced, it's tough, but we're okay. Work will not be affected, and we're all professionals here. Daisy Driver is one of the best women I know. We're lucky to have her on board."

She nodded to Adam and stepped out of the boardroom, almost smiling to herself. She didn't understand, how this could have happened. She's actually saying good things about Daisy fucking Driver. She must be insane.

"Joanne... "

He stands outside her office and fidgets with the hem of his thrown on cardigan. It was very New York of him. The chic-polished style. But she looks down to see battered Nike's on his feet, and mismatched socks. And a hole in the stained shirt he wore. 

She resisted the urge to tell him off, she wasn't his wife anymore. That was Daisy's job, but she guesses, a new born and all. 

"Daisy told me she met up with you. And... you told her you knew. About us. From the start."

He fidgets again standing in the doorway of her office. She sits on her desk, not inviting him in. 

"You didn't hide it from me Adam. We both know that."

"How are you and... "

"Jim? Yeah. That's not really happening. But I'm fine. I'm good. I'm back in theatre."

Of course, that was probably nothing for an Academy Award winner. 

"That's great. That's... you really shine on stage."

And he meant it. Which warmed her. 

"I thought... since we're doing the video, we should get Lily here. Get her familiar, so she doesn't... fuss."

He's asking if she's okay that his family will come today. His wife and his beautiful baby.

"Sure. It would be great, to see Daisy again."

To her surprise she meant it.

"Okay. Uh... she'll bring lunch..."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Adam awkwardly stands there before shuffling off to his own office.

\---

She comes loudly, with a wailing baby and a clutter of bags in her hands. 

Adam looks at her as if she shat out the sun and shined on his life.

"Sorry, she woke up hungry and the milk train couldn't stop driving to feed her."

Adam lifts up the baby and settles her on his shoulder and immediately her whimpers lessen, her tiny head burrowing in her father's chest.

Daisy drops the bags on the kitchen table and wraps her arms around his waist from behind, resting her head on his shoulder blades. 

"Was she very fussy?"

Daisy melts into his embrace for a while before leaning away to pick up the baby from him, and Adam wraps them both up, kissing first the baby's head and then Daisy's. 

"You know her, without daddy she's a little terror. Uhm... I have expressed miilk in the diaper bag but... is there a room where I can..."

Adam leads her to his office, cooing all the while at the infant that was again fussing. 

He shuts the door but she can still hear his laughter, and her giggles, and the loneliness that came with it. Loneliness she was learning to live with. 

\---

Lily, once fed, and in daddy's arms was a happy baby. She babbled at everyone and played with anything. 

She looks so much like her mom, with the dainty lips, and the tiny nose. Except for her ears, and her hair - those were clearly Adam's. 

She was currently chewing on a toy that one of their staff handed her and Daisy, quickly stole it from her, giving her butterfly kisses to stop the tears from flowing. 

She stood behind, not wanting to make this more awkward than it already was, when Daisy snorted at seeing Adam's shirt.

"Did you walk out of our house with baby spit on your shirt?"

He flushed and pulled the cardigan that was slipping off tighter.

"I didn't notice until I was in the car!"

"Adam..." But there was no reproach in her tone, just teasing, and a happy glint in her eyes. 

"What, you went to her pediatrician with poop streaked on your cheek."

"Hey that was a secret!" She bumped his arm and he rubbed his nose against hers. 

He was so happy. THey were so happy. Even with baby spit and shit on cheeks... it was endearing and adorable and something to be loved. 

She... was overly critical of him, she'll admit that. She noticed the tiniest of flaws. She told him, because she thought it was the way. Love... corrected.

But in the end love suffocated. 

"She did well in her first video didn't she? Takes after her daddy." Daisy murmurs to Kath, their stage director. 

"A natural this one. When she's older she might want to do some Christmas plays."

"Oh that would be lovely. Thank you. But she has to audition. She can't get in just because she's a Driver."

"My wife's still a bit bitter that people think she got in by privilege."

The tone was dry, and teasing, but the way the word wife slipped warmly from his mouth... in the way it had been terse when referred to her in the recent times, made her sad. 

Did she really make him so miserable?

She wanders out of the office and into the little patio they had, and she knows it was him that followed her from the lightness of his footfall. Something he took from his days in the military. 

"Are you okay?"

She doesn't turn to face him. Merely nods.

"Is it too much?"

"She makes you happy. I mean technically I know but seeing it... I'm sorry Adam. I feel like I stole so much time from the both of you."

He walks to her tentatively and places a hand on her shoulder. 

"She just accepts me. For who I am. And that's enough."

"I'm happy for you. I really am."

He shuffles and sighs before handing a box back to her.

"I... selling it felt wrong. So was keeping it. So was giving it away, or throwing it away. I know... usually the woman returns the ring, but I mean no malice here. I think... I was never the one meant for you, and we tried because we worked together and there was just you and me for the longest time. But it doesn't have to be that way. I want you to find this, Joanne. Someone... to love you. Just for you."

She opens the box, and there inside, was the ring he wore for the last decade or so. The ring that showed he tried to be with her, faithful to her. He tried his best. But love trumps best. 

"I forgive you Adam. I wish you every happiness. And I'm not saying this to hurt you, or to be angry, but I can't be in this with you anymore."

"No! This is your work-"

"It was yours. I only ever supported it because it was yours. I loved the work, the people, came to love the mission, but it's not mine. It's your project, it's your vision. I want to create something that's my own."

"I.. don't know what to say."

"I think I didn't leave because I didn't want to do it without you knowing that I'm okay. We're okay. I just... need the space. And the time. And the chance to find myself again." 

She takes his hand in both of hers, remembering the day she swore to be his wife.

"I forgive you. Be happy. But I don't think I can stay in your life. I don't think I want you to stay in mine. I don't think you want me to stay in yours either."

He hugs her, short and brief.

"You're welcome here. Always."

"I know. Who knows, one day I'll maybe come back."

But that was the nature of it. They were okay. There was forgiveness. But there's also the undeniable wreckage of something that will never be okay again. And in those cases, the best option is to walk away. And be okay with walking away. Because then, you'll have new places. 

So she packs her things, and says goodbye. She smiles at Daisy Driver. And she walks out of Adam's life. And into her own.


	7. Give Me Your Worst Excuses, Any Reason To Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of the cast during the tumultous TROS filming, and little meetings they had.

**2018 - Petra**

"Okay, what the fuck is wrong with Driver?" Joonas mumbled as the screaming Adam was hissing outside the trailer door followed by Daisy's equally passionate response.

Oscar was already huddled in a chair in Anthony's trailer. The only one that gets a semblance of respect from Adam when he flies into his mood. The only trailer Daisy doesn't look at to find them. 

He wasn't like this, not in the first two films, in fact in the last one they were all sure he was warming up a bit. He hugged them more, went to dinners, hung out at the bar. He wasn't so intense. 

But all that was lost in the wake of this stormy man, who bit the head off of a crew member for walking into his field of acting. 

"Leave him alone." Oscar mumbles, fiddling with his phone, his feet on John's lap. Who remained stoic, and refusing to say anything. 

He took his seat beside JJ who had his head buried in his hands and accepted a tumblr of whiskey from Anthony who wisely kept them stocked on the liquor with the almost daily outbursts coming from Adam at this point. 

"God, God, I knew it was a bad idea, pitting the two of them together. It plays out well on screen - you know the I hate you, but it's because I secretly love you and I offered you the galaxy but you chose this rotting resistance and the I hate you because I fucking went on a Sith ship for you and you chose a galaxy over me kind of anger and it all but screams out of their pores, and it looks so good on camera, but I can't live with their hatred anymore."

He lifted his tumblr to his lips, groaning when he found it empty. And Anthony simply poured another finger of liquor into it. They won't film anything, not with Adam like this. They were ahead of schedule, they thought they can finish earlier... except... Daisy just had to. 

Oscar kicked John in the chest, as he angrily huffed at losing whatever game he was playing with on his phone.

"It's Boyega's fault. I told him, don't let Daisy get near Adam, don't let her provoke him. But his puny heart melted when she batted the eyelashes. She called her boyfriend in Adam's trailer. He overheard. That's why he's lashing out."

"John!"

"She was crying. Last night. She drank herself to a stupor and cried in my room. You didn't see her, how she's torn on the inside. I just wanted her to have some small payback-"

John's face darkened, images of Daisy, sobbing in a heap, rocking herself back and forth, and the horror he felt when she said she wanted to maybe just die. Maybe in death it won't hurt this much...

Oscar scowled at him and kicked him once more in the thigh.

"So you tear Adam apart as well? He isn't even speaking to anyone John! He hasn't stopped filming since the start of the year. The man is running on vapors. You can't provoke him."

"He goes and seduces Daisy and then he gets his wife pregnant and leaves her high and dry and-"

"He loves her you numbskull!"

Oscar's outburst shocks all of them and he takes a sip of his whiskey before sighing and throwing back the entire drink letting it burn through his system.

"He motherfucking loves her, that is the beginning and end of everything."

John's mouth was still open, JJ simply keened and tugged at his hair with his hands. Anthony poured everyone a drink and Joonas, who didn't know this was all happening, stood stock still. 

"What are we supposed to do?" Joonas asked as the sound of Adam's slamming trailer door, followed by it reopening and closing again, Daisy following him in. 

"We drink." Anthony muttered for the first time. They all turned to him and he smiled, grimly, pouring himself another drink.

"What, you think this is the first time a Solo man went crazy when a boyfriend was brought on set? When Carrie brought Simon on set for the first time Harrison dismantled the Millenium Falcon with his bare hands."

JJ looked forlornly into his cup. "Adam broke the TIE fighter."

Silence descended the men, each of them stuck in the in between. 

\---

"Adam you can't keep doing this! We have work to do."

"I'm on schedule! I would work faster if you didn't call your boyfriend all the time. Or brought him for that matter."

He ripped off the cape, and the overshirt, leaving him in his black tank that he likes to wear under the hot costume. 

"Get out. I'm changing."

"NO! We're settling this once and for all. You have a wife and a child. And you chose them."

She poked his bicep, hard, and he turns to her, fury reigniting in his eyes. 

"You. Chose. Adam. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. You don't get to go berserk on the crew, on me, on anybody because you have your grumpy dark lord moods. Tom is going to be here, Tom is my fiance and you don't-mpff"

Whatever words she said drowned as Adam wrapped his two arms around her, dragged her close and tucked her against his chest, his head burrowing into her hair. 

"Please. Don't say his name."

The anger melted away, leaving the hurt and heartbreak and sorrow it was masking and she wasn't a crier, she really was not, but she fisted the tank against his chest and slowly hit him with her firsts, once, twice, thrice before just holding on and burying her face in his chest. 

"You don't love him Daisy. Please, don't. Don't do this."

"You left me. You left me and he was there, what did you expect me to do."

"Daisy-"

"YOU LEFT." 

She ripped herself away from him, tears rolling down her cheeks. 

"You left me. You don't get to judge me for how I choose to cope with you gone."

She makes a move to push away from him, but his fingers grasp her wrist tight. Almost hard enough to bruise.

"Adam-"

He tugs her and his lips descend on hers, and she tries to fight she does, but this was Adam, and she melts, and she melts, and yields when he tumbles her down on to the floor. 

\---

He was just looking at her, tracing her cheeks, her lips, his forehead on hers, as JJ called cut and they officially finish shooting.

There were no more movies to follow, this was it, this was goodbye. And Adam has been angry for so long, her grumpy dark lord.

And she has been too. This must be the first time since they started filming that she hasn't been angry at him. 

She rubs at his hair, her lips chapped and bruised from the number of times they kissed. Adam closes his eyes and bumps his nose against hers, and she smiles, sighing in contentment.

"I have to fly tonight."

"You won't stay for the party?"

"I have to do some recordings, and reshoot some scenes. And I have to do the light test at the theater."

He opens his eyes, looking into her, his hands pulling her closer. "Stay with me until then?"

She nods, and buries her face in his chest. 

No one says anything, no one even approaches them. They quietly walk out of set, with everyone pretending to not see anything. At this point they don't care. They're on borrowed time, and it's running out. 

\---

"When did you all know?"

Mark opened the topic. They were all just drunk and stuffed with pizza, and the music was loud and fuck it's another era of Star Wars and it just had to be said. They worked six years on this movie, and they never so much as discussed it, or breathed a word of it out. 

"What are we talking about?"

Naomi was new, she was probably the only person who didn't know enough. 

"Driver and Daisy."

Kelly mumbles from her perch beside Naomi, looking up at the ceiling. 

"Oh, easy. You know those water canons? The saber fight? Kelly and I were headed to get dinner and Daisy mentioned wanting to go to town to find decent vegan options so I went to knock on her room. She answered it, and said she wasn't feeling well at all and was going to skip dinner, but she had a giant hickey on her neck, and she was wearing his shirt. Pretty sure they fucked on the set too."

Everyone laughed, because it was true. It's not like they bothered to hide it much.

Oscar scoffed and shook his head. "I'm not sure they bothered to hide much. Driver's always covered in hickeys. You know why he had to wear high waisted pants for that scene? His abdomen was so bruised he looked like a fucking dalmatian. I roomed with him for the first movie. I thought he was seeing someone on the side after his wife, then one day I walk into the suite we shared and Daisy's shoes were in our common area. I didn't stay to find out if she was in there with her shoes"

Kelly's eyes widened and she laughed at the mental image of Adam Driver's abdomen covered in love bites. 

"Damn I would have thought Driver was the dom in this scenario. Go Daisy."

"How did you find out Mark?" Kelly turned to the graying man happily sipping on his tea on the love chair.

"Well, Kelly, they got a separate hotel room in Ireland while the rest of us braved being alone in that bitching cold. I was there when they had to reenact the shirtless scene and because Driver is such a method actor, he stripped his shirt to make the scene more authentic. You didn't see how Daisy was basically salivating at the end of it. I am 100% sure they fucked on that island inside the Millenium Falcon. No crew wanted to go inside the damned prop to check. And they would always come together on set. They weren't very careful at all."

"I knew it! I knew there was a reason Driver insisted on going to Ireland." 

They all snickered, seeing the pattern of who holds the reigns in this relationship.

"Okay. I don't want to be the disgusting creep-" Kelly begins and all eyes turn to her.

"But... Adam's... well... he's a six-foot-four muscle-y Marine. And have you seen his hands? They're like.... sausage fingers. And Daisy's so... tiny. I mean... like... wow how does his dick not split her in half?"

There was a beat of silence at that... and then mayhem breaks out. Everyone was laughing, clutching at their sides, wiping at tears and Kelly flushes. 

"I mean, sorry but seriously just look at him! That man's just... big! It's impossible he has a tiny dick."

"Kelly-" Oscar gasps as he catches his breath. "Why do you think Daisy keeps emphasizing his size? And also, as probably the only person in this room to have seen Driver naked, I would say, yes Daisy's a champ."

Oscar makes a motion with his hands creating a giant circle with his two hands and pumping it up and down while whistling that got everyone in hysterics again. 

"Oh my god, I know I shouldn't say anything but... Daisy waddles. Right after." Billie flushes as she remembers. 

"Oh Billie, Billie, you have to tell us more."

She flushes but soldiers on. "You know... the big scene when Rey return to base? And she hugs Leia? She was sort of waddling around, and she couldn't really walk properly, then my mom... oh God, this is so embarassing just straight up told her, 'I iced my vagina afterwards. It helps a lot. They really are exactly like Father and Son aren't they'" and walked away and I was standing there and I just... we both just didn't know what to say."

Everyone laughed at that, and Mark got misty eyed, remembering his old friend. He raised his glass. "To our Princess.... and okay to Daisy for taking Adam's dick."

Laughter errupted once more.


	8. Paint Me In Trust, I'll Be Your Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the past: Adam meets Tom, Tom meets Adam.  
> In the future: Adam's SNL.

**2019 - TROS London Premiere (Before the events of The Present in Chapter One)**

He's never actually seen him before. 

Daisy never brought him to the set when he was around. He heard of him, she spoke of him, she texted him a lot. 

But seeing him in the flesh, with his Daisy, HIS Daisy, did ridiculous things to his temper. 

"Will you smile?" Joanne's acidic tone cuts into his ear, as she clutches his arm and turns to wanly smile at a photographer. "You keep staring at her, the blind items will start again. You want to pay them off again?"

He grits his teeth and smiles for the cameras, his eyes still tracking him, _Tom_ , as his slimy hands slid down to rest above Daisy's ass. The dickwad.

"Okay thank you." He breaks away from Joanne, not even caring if she's following and makes a beeline to follow Daisy as she heads backstage and _Tom_ goes into the theatre.

He grabs her by the waist and drags her into the tiny bathroom by the staging area. Her dress was sinfully red, leaving one side of her arm bare and he sees the thrum of her pulse there. She knows it's him, and her nails dig into his hand as she flails. 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Adam?"

 _He turns her around in his arms, keeping her locked and she tries to kick him_ but he presses her against the wall, bending down to lift her up so she's resting on his thighs. 

Her eyes widen, and the hand pushing him away now clutches at his lapels.

"What... Adam..."

"You brought him here."

His eyes darken as he dips his head to lap at her collar bone. 

"I... Joanne is here... _don't_."

She hisses as his teeth sink into her skin, where her collar bone meets her neck and she pushes again, weakly as she pants against him, her other hand snaking to tug at his hair. 

"You can't fucking mark me Adam, we have to be onstage in fifteen minutes are you fucking kidding me."

But he doesn't listen, instead he increases suction, his hands lowering from her back to her ass, where that man's hands were and grabs. 

"You shouldn't have brought him here. You shouldn't have touched him. You shouldn't have made me see him. You're mine."

He presses one last kiss to the bruising hickey he has left on her skin and leans back to look her in the eyes before taking her lips in a bruising kiss. 

She melts at his touch, it's been half a year since he touched her and she needed, she needed, she needed.

"We can't." She pants as he lifts her skirts, growling as the tight sheath stuck on her calf.

"We can't, Adam. We have to go out."

But she tugs at his collar, sucking her own mark on his neck, at the same spot he marked her, and brushed her thigh against his raging hard on. 

"You have to help me cover this up." She says, raising a hand to her neck, shivering at the traces of his saliva cooling on her skin.

"I have concealer in my purse. For you." She notes as his eyes darken. 

Adam was not a jealous man. He didn't mind her friendship with John, or Oscar. It was Tom, and just Tom who got his caveman awakening and clamoring inside him. 

It was because Tom was allowed to call her fiancee. 

And she gets that. She often feels the same about his wife. 

He softens, when she hands him the concealer and his hands were soft and gentle as they trace over the mark, blending the creamy mixture easily with the largeness of his hands until his mark was not so visible. 

"He'll know it's you." She mumbles, as she pushes past him to straighten her dress.

He moves behind her, wraps his arms around her and nuzzles his chin on her shoulder, looking at her through the mirror.

"She'll know it's you too."

She gives in, because she needs to touch him, she turns and clutches at his suit. "What are we doing Adam? This is wrong. All sorts of wrong."

"But you're not." She laughs when he squeezes her ass and leans back to press one more kiss on his mouth. Soft, slow. 

"Don't let him touch you there again."

"I won't."

She meets his eyes. Knows the words are futile. And he growls and drags her close.

"I'm yours Daisy, I am. Heart and soul, I am yours."

She runs her hands on his chest, shivers at the warmth. "But not in body. You can't ever be with me."

She kisses his neck, his chin, his cheek, then pulls away. "Let's stop this Adam."

His heart seizes, as her ring catches the glint off the bathroom mirror. 

A ring he gave her. 

A ring everyone thinks was from _Tom._

Horror sinks into his gut, panic at the thought of losing her but before he can say anything, she was walking out of the bathroom. 

\---

John pounced on her the minute she stepped into the green room. "Where were you?"

"John-"

"You have a _hickey_ on your neck."

She gasps and raises a hand to the mark she was sure Adam concealed. 

"Is it obvious?"

"Not to photographers, but to anyone standing next to you, yes!"

"Oh God."

"You can't be serious, you fucked him the minute you saw him?"

Her eyes flashed, she knows he means well but this was crossing a line.

"Who I fuck is none of your-"

"Is there a problem?"

He looms over John, standing beside her, taking her arm and tugging her close.

John's eyes flare and he moves closer to Adam. 

"You fucking asshole-"

"Hey guys!"

Joonas comes in between Daisy and Adam, pushing John away in the process. "Let's all chill, we're promoting this movie, let's all take a deep breath... okay, we're taking a photo we're all friends. Okay, look up and smile."

Everyone schools their faces, Daisy angles her shoulder away to hide the hickey and they smile into the camera.

They think nothing of it. 

Not yet.

Until the day after tomorrow when people notice that Adam's lips are tinted the same shade as Daisy's in that selfie. 

\---

The after party was a mess. Joanne was, as usual not there. Adam was slowly wanting to throttle the man who flitted around Daisy as if he deserved to breathe the same air as she did. 

But his hands were tied, he had the kid, the wife... he was a mess. 

And _Tom_ could give her everything he wanted. 

"Hey can I get two Guinness please?"

He hears the pompous accent and swivels, and maybe it's the three pina coladas he downed, but right now he wants to slam Tom's face into the bar, and wipe that smirk off his face. 

"Hey, we haven't met yet. Tom Bateman."

He holds his hand out to him and he just stares at it, a glower forming on his face. 

Tom's hand retracts and he touches his head, embarassed. "Oops, yeah, sorry, Daisy said you're... yeah, sorry for getting into your space, man."

He grabs the two pints and makes to move towards Daisy but he couldn't help it.

"Stay away from her."

"Excuse me?"

Tom stills and stares back at him, face stony. 

"Stay away from my girl. You don't deserve her."

Something crosses Tom's features, and he puts down the pints. 

"Look, you're drunk, you shouldn't-"

"You don't even love her, you're using her for publicity! She hated those pap photos. You called _fucking paps_ on her."

Adam was jabbing his chest now. He didn't even notice.

His voice was also raised. 

Tom was flushed, embarrassed at being accused of calling the paps. 

"You know what? You can say what you want man, but at the end of the day, I'm the one fucking her so back off."

Adam's vision clouded, rage pumped in his veins, and he jumped. Tom wasn't by any means a small man. But Adam was a Marine, and drunk and angry.

It took Joonas, Mark and Oscar to pull him off. Tom's nose was oozing blood, and he made a move towards Adam, who was still struggling out of the three men's hold when Daisy stepped in between and wrapped her arms around his middle.

"Stop."

She clutches him tight, in his chest and he sags, deflates, and shaky hands lift to her neck as he feels her sob against him. 

"Please stop this Adam. You're scaring me."

He trembles as he holds her, head reeling from the alcohol, the punch Tom sent to his ears, and the heavy fear of losing her. 

"I... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't leave me."

"Daisy- step away from him, now."

Daisy makes no move, just stays in Adam's arms, rubbing soothing circles on his back as the three men let him go, Oscar burying his face in his hands for a while before turning to Tom. 

"You need to go, bud."

"No. DAISY. STEP AWAY NOW."

Daisy only clutched Adam tighter, and John, finally steps in. 

"You need to leave now, mate."

Tom takes a look at Daisy, now being dwarfed by Adam who was still trembling, eyes closed tightly and he laughs. 

"People warned me. People said you were... but I didn't believe it... Daisy... you're a fucking bitch."

Adam's eyes darken and he tenses but Daisy only grips him tighter and John and Oscar both shield them from Tom. "That's enough."

Tom looked down on them and shoved them away. 

"You all turn a blind eye on this. As he fucks another woman? Cheats on his wife? As she cheats on a fiance? You're all fucking disgusting."

Tom shoulder checks Oscar as he makes his way outside. 

They were in the private booth, luckily, with only the bartender, the cast, and a few other people. 

"We need to call your PR team." Mark chimes, from the side, wringing his hands together. "This can go bad."

"We're under NDA."

The bartender said, not missing a beat.

"Excuse me?"

"This isn't the first after party we catered. This isn't even the worse shit. Some people get fucked." He shrugged his shoulders. "We're paid better than tabloids ever could, this won't leak. But you both should leave, before you attract more attention."

\---

He throws up in the back of his car and she has to make his driver stop and get him Tylenol from the pharmacy. 

He was drunk and he never does this. He was controlled and he did the right thing always. He never lost his temper much. He certainly doesn't go around punching people. 

He groans and she sniffles the tears pouring out of her eyes, and cradles his head making him lie on his side.

"You okay?"

"You're crying."

"Yeah you mother fucker, I'm crying."

"Sorry."

"You shouldn't have done that."

She wipes at her nose, stroking his hair as he groans and hurls again into the vomit bag placed in the stupid SUV. 

"He doesn't deserve you."

"Adam-"

"No one deserves you."

"Don't give me that bullshit." She hisses, tempted to tug his hair.

He turns and frames her face in his hand. 

"I'm a shit. I'm sorry. I did this."

"What do you want from me, Adam?"

Everything he thinks. 

Everything.

\---

**January 2020 - SNL**

"GRUMPY DARK LORD?"

He was covered in paint from the baby room in their new house that he wanted ready and perfect when the baby comes. He read that pain fumes stay for at least a month, so he decided to do it, when she was barely two months pregnant, to make sure there weren't any fumes. 

"I'm sorry, I was angry at you when I did that interview with John!"

"I barely hugged anyone? My dick was deep inside you every night, how much more of a hug did you want then Daisy?"

"I'm sorry! I was so angry at you, I didn't even remember half of what I said!"

"You painted me into a stuck up asshole!"

Her tears gathered at her eyes, pregnancy hormones and confusion over Adam's sudden reaction. 

"Why are you yelling at me?"

"Because our PR stinks, you're pregnant, and I have to pretend I'm a husband and a father to someone else!"

He sighs, running his hands through his hair before coming to her and picking her up in a tight hug. 

"I'm sorry Daisy Belle."

She kissed his neck, and wrapped her arms tight around him. 

"You have to say something about Joanne at SNL?"

"Before the awards end, our PR team kindly reminded me I can't admit I have a very pregnant wife. Until the Oscars they say."

"You don't have to admit to anything-"

"But I do, don't you see Daisy? I love you, and our baby, and I can't do it like this."

"You'll have to."

She pulls back and cups his cheeks, rubs her nose against his.

"We knew it wasn't going to be easy. But I love you, and no matter what you have to say, that won't change. I love you. Do you love me?"

He nods and bends down to her tummy, pressing kisses there. 

"Sorry baby. Daddy's going to make this right okay. You won't be a secret."

He hugs her around his middle, her head against where their child is, and she knows... whatever happens, she'll be content.

Even if that means he made fun of her interview, and disparaged his own husband and father roles.

\---


	9. Because Here We Are Again, And I Loved You So

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heavily Featuring: Driver Puppy Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally doing a request from @spoilerlover for Lily's first Halloween (in reverse)   
> I do love getting your comments, and I want to reply to all of them! Please continue sending in requests for scenes and other Daiver theories!

**The Present - Golden Globes 2019**

She just wanted to put the stuffed toy that her dad and mum sent over at the top of the shelf that Adam built with his own hands in their tiny nursery. 

She was just shy of the end of her tenth week, two more and they can tell everyone about her little munchkin. 

She was still flat as a board, with no signs of baby Driver thumping anywhere but the baby's still small, just a mass of cells and a heart beat. She loved the baby wholeheartedly already. And judging by the many DIY projects in the nursery Adam had set up in their home in LA, so did he. He planned to paint the walls himself, spending weeks plotting out the best colors to have for a baby.

She just wanted to put the stuffed toy up the shelf. A little furry bear her parents got at the airport Hamley's, that was white with a pink nose and carrying a big British flag. "Since his dad's about as American as they can get, the little chap should have a piece of home." She smiled, imagining how her baby would grow up with this bear, and makes to take another step up on the ladder when she slips, and lands on her ass. Pain erupts from her tailbone, and she had a split second before she gasps, with a shaking hand, to cup at her belly. 

The baby.

That was all she thought about.

The baby.

She wills herself to steady, she wasn't bleeding, she wasn't in pain. But she should get checked. She should get to the hospital. 

But Adam's on a show, Adam was at the Globes... she couldn't... so she calls 911, then she calls her agent. She'd be fine. The baby would be fine. They would both be fine. She repeats to herself as the tears leak from her eyes. 

They were going to be alright.

\---

**Don't panic. Daisy fell from ladder. Called 911. Finding her at the ER now. Cedars-Sinai.**

His heart is stuck in his throat and he can't think for a while. Except of Daisy, and their baby. Daisy fell. Why the fuck was she on a ladder?

Why didn't she ask him?

Because he was gone, he was away, and he left her alone. 

"I have to go."

"You can't."

Joanne hisses at him, as she reads the text over his shoulder. He grabs at her thighs and pushes her. "This is my kid-"

"And the woman you cheated on. You weren't even there when Joshua was born."

"Well... do you really want to get into that? How you cheated? How I'm not Joshua's-"

"Adam!"

"I have to go."

They were louder than he expected. And eyes were looking over at them. 

A photographer making his rounds stops in front of them and takes their photos. 

Later he would see how his hands still clawed at Joanne. 

But she was right, he can't up and leave, and go to Langone. They would attract too much attention. Instead he texts Daisy. 

**Are you okay? I'm getting out of here as soon as I can.**

She doesn't reply, and the cold worry was slipping down his spine. He's vaguely aware that they go into commercial break, vaguely aware of people mingling about him, but he doesn't care, he needs to know about his kid. His Daisy.

**Daisy, please. Call me when you get this. How are you? I love you.**

He gets no responses and he resists the urge to just bolt and flee. 

He gets a message from their agent an excruciating half an hour later.

**I'm at the hospital. They won't tell me anything as I'm not family. Will let you know when we can see her.**

The time ticks by slowly, so slowly until at last he was free to go. 

He flies out of his seat, not even bothering about Joanne and heading into the pick up area. 

"You can take the car back to the hotel, I'm riding with security."

He doesn't wait for her to say anything, merely hops on the passenger seat in the second car meant to be his security detail. 

"I need you to take me as fast as you can to Cedars-Sinai."

Something in his voice brooked no arguments and in half an hour, through many illegal traffic violations, he was standing in the ER of Cedars-Sinai, being told by a short nurse who pursed her lips up at him that not in any under circumstances can she tell him anything about Daisy Ridley. 

"You'll have to wait until you can see her, until then, nothing about her medical case can be told to you."

"But I'm the baby's father, surely, surely that counts for something?"

The nurse softens at his tone, and his begging and lays a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry Mr. Driver, but we are bound by law to patient privacy. You're not Ms. Ridley's husband, or legal relative. I am not authorized to share anything about her condition with you. You can wait in her room, she'll be back shortly."

Shortly meant an hour and a half. He was mad with worry, rabid with it, that when the door to the ER isolation room that was given to her as a privacy measure opened, he pounced on it, and her on the wheelchair. 

"Oh my god." He lifts her up out of the chair and into his arms, burrowing his face in her neck. 

"Oh my god." He was trembling and she was holding on to his hair, rubbing and soothing. 

"We're okay. We're both okay."

He set her down gently on the bed and surveyed her. Hands on her belly. She was a bit pale, a little shocky in the eyes, and her ankle was in a cast. 

"It's nothing bad, I twisted my ankle, it took a while for us to figure out what to do, because we couldn't get an X-Ray because of the baby. I went for a full scan, baby's fine. Heartbeat strong and all. Big for gestational age, but, that's not surprising, considering you. "

She smiles at him, her hands caught in his, and the relief, the sudden relief that she was fine and their baby was fine, growing, big, inside of her, brought him to his knees.

And he sobbed, holding her hand, and the sobs and the worry, and the thought that he lost his baby wracked through his body. "Hey, hey, we're okay. We're okay. They didn't tell you? That was the first thing we found out, I just needed to get my ankle sorted out."

"They... can't... I'm... not... family."

He heaves through short breaths. Daisy's eyes soften and she tugs him up and onto her side.

"I'm sorry. I told Trina not to tell you until I know for sure, but... she thought you should know..."

He holds her tight, and settles against her. She was alive and well. And the baby was alive and well. 

And that was all he needed for now. 

\---

"You're quiet."

Adam had been watching her like a hawk since she was discharged from the hospital on the night of the Globes. She was advised to go on bed rest, until her 12 week scan, to make sure she didn't jar anything with the baby. 

That meant Adam was stuck with her on this couch for the next two weeks and he'd been sulky and surly. 

She was banned from the nursery, the ladder hidden away from her, and Adam had been considering paint samples in his hands.

"Daisy I think... we should get married."

She sputters on the cookie she was munching on and looked incredulously at him. 

"What?"

"I think we should get married."

"Adam-"

"My divorce is finalized, I received the papers earlier on. We should get married."

"I... I don't know what..."

Adam turns to her and sighs and kneels down in front of her, taking her hands in his and pressing a kiss to both her knuckles, then pressing a kiss to her stomach. 

"This is not how I imagined this would go. I planned a nice proposal, with dinner and candlelights, but this, right here? Sitting with you on a couch, and you haven't showered for 2 days, and you have cookie crumbs all over your face, this is what I want. I want a life with you Daisy, to spend the rest of my years with you because you have taught me what it means to be truly happy. I want to sit in a couch if it means I have you beside me. I want our kids to have my name, or yours, however you want it. I would happily take your name if you want that. That's not the point."

He does this thing he does with his hair, and it's so adorable, and cute, and beautiful and she loves him, and he's on his knees.

He sighs and looks up at her, with those dangerous puppy dog eyes of him that she knows, she knows would be the death of her, especially if their kid manages to inherit them. 

He sees her smiling at him, and he relaxes, his lips turning up into a wobbly grin as she brushes the hair from his forehead. And he pulls a box from his pocket. 

"Daisy, anywhere with you, whatever, wherever that may be, whether it's in a fancy mansion, or us, just, smelling like our couch on a Wednesday night watching crap television, is the most wonderful place on Earth. You're my family, and I love you, but I want to be able to ask your doctors if something is wrong with you, and our baby. I want you to own half of everything I have. I want to call you my wife. And I want to be called your husband. And I want a life, this life, with you. So please, please, Daisy... I know I fucked everything up seven ways to Sunday, but please have pity on me, and make me your husband?"

She grins, she grins, and then she's laughing and diving into his arms, squished in him, expressing her yeses through kisses on his skin.

\---

**Halloween, 2023 - New York**

"Lily Sky, Adam Douglas!"

The sounds of snickering abruptly stopped from her kitchen and she saw Adam quickly swivel and put something behind his broad back and clutched their toothless daughter against his hip. 

His had on his white shirt and his Darth Vader sleep pants - which she thought absolutely adorable, and his hair was growing so long again, brushing against his shoulders. He looked so handsome and she probably would have kissed him, if not for the guilty look in his eyes. 

Adam's eyes never lie.

And so did their daughter's. She looked exactly like her, except for her hair and her ears, but her expressions, the way she carries herself, the way her dark hair tumbles across her back - that was all so very Adam.

And she knew those eyes very well - eyes that can get her daddy to do anything for her. 

She should know - they had the same expression as Adam's whenever he wanted her to do something - which is what lead her to this point. 

Heavily pregnant with Driver number 2, who was even bigger than Lily was when she was full term and having an achy back and a squished bladder.

"Mummy!" Her daughter beamed at her, although it was hard not to laugh now that her two front teeth have fallen out and there was a gaping hole in her smile. Her eyes mirrored her father's in guilt, and she squirmed in his arms in her Cinderella meets Kylo Ren costume which involved a blue tulle sparkly tutu with her sparkly silver jelly sandals and... well, the top half of Kylo Ren complete with a mask. 

Adam, who was in a skeleton costume refused to be anything near Ben Solo. 

It was Lily's first Halloween and she wanted it to be perfect, she even spent months on the costume thinking Lily wanted to go as Cinderella, since she had a princess phase, but her feet had swollen, and she has gestational hypertension, and Lily, upon seeing daddy's Kylo Ren movie for the first time decided she wanted to be Kylo Ren and so refused to wear the top half of the Cinderella costume she had spent so much time preparing. 

Her eyes narrowed at her twin tornados and inched closer to them, eyes flaring when Adam pushed back his hand still behind his back. 

"Hey Daisy Belle, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I should ask you the same question. You guys finished trick or treating hours ago."

They rushed into her room, said hello to her, and proceeded to go back down to arrange their spoils. 

Her daughter was still in the Kylo Ren shirt, though she kicked off the tutu and was now in her princess underpants.

"What are you two up to?"

"It's a suwpwise mum."

Because of her... well lack of teeth, Lily's lisp became more pronounced, which added to the Adam Driver signature puppy eyes made her an even more endearing if manipulative child. 

On a normal day Adam was wrapped around her fingers. 

On a day like this... she turned her laser eyes back to Adam. "What did you get her?"

He raised his hand up, the one not clutching on to their daughter for dear life as if that will save him from her.

"Daisy Belle, it's just..."

"Adam, you didn't."

"She asked. She got an A in school."

"It's pre-school, Adam, _everyone_ gets A's."

She inched closer to him and his eyes dart left and right looking for escape, but she knows her husband, oh she knows him very well and with speed that should be impossible for a pregnant woman, she reaches behind him and pulls out she knew it, the creepy doll. The freaking eyes open and close doll that will probably murder them all in their sleep.

"Adam..."

"She really liked it!"

He clutched their baby to his chest and pressed a kiss to her forehead that got Lily giggling. 

"Tell mommy Lil."

Lily rested her head on her dad's chest and turned those puppy eyes with the dimpled smile at her. 

"I really love Annie mommy. She's my baby like I'm your baby. Do you not want me to have my baby cause you have a new baby?"

She pushed her lip out a little in a pout she just knew their daughter picked up from Adam and she made the mistake of looking at him to hiss at him but his face looks exactly the same, and they were both so cute like that, dressed like Kylo Ren and a Skeleton Ben Solo and she had all these maternal hormones that she rolled her eyes to high heaven, and pressed a kiss to her daughter's head, before pressing a kiss to her husband's lips. 

"You're the one sleeping in her room if she gets scared."

But Daisy didn't need to worry, she woke up with her daughter squished against her belly, and Adam's arm wrapped around all three of them and she grins because this was her family, and it was crazy and tough and she's a hundred percent sure her son would look exactly like Adam and she'd be officially outnumbered, but she wouldn't have it any other way. 

At the foot of the bed Moose sniffed, seeming to catch her drift and with a forlorn whine, nudged at the doll that took his space in his doggy bed and climbed up and laid his large mass beside her feet. 

She agrees with Moose though, that doll has got to go.


	10. Don't Say You Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ONE CHAPTER RETCON*   
> In a world where Daisy Driver does not exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're dropping the original story plot for this chapter alone - I need to blow steam off after BAFTAs. We'll pick up on the Driver family some other time!

**2018 - The Marriage Story Set**

"She's beautiful."

Scarlett sits beside him as he stares at a photo of Daisy, sleeping, on his bed. The day he left her behind. 

He startles and shoves his phone away but Scarlett shakes her head and pulls a photo out of Chris Evans, in a sleep shirt, carrying Scarlett's daughter. 

It strikes him suddenly, how similar they look. 

"Yup."

He fidgets, not used to having intimate conversations with co-stars. "He's not ready. He never will be. Chris is an amazing person, big heart you know. The problem is he loves many people. Me, yes. Our daughter, even more so. So much. But... never enough. It would never be enough."

"So why do it?"

She grins and traces Chris' face from the photo. A face she sees on her daughter everyday. "Because I love him."

"Why be with Colin?"

Scarlett looks up at him and takes his hand. 

"Because there's nothing lonelier than being in a one sided love."

He nods, and looks down at his ring again. 

"If you don't choose you'll lose her. And I don't think you're like Chris. I think it would destroy you."

\---

**The BAFTAs**

She was so beautiful, in her green dress. He can't keep his eyes off of her. 

He made sure to arrive at the same time she did. It wasn't hard to figure out, they had the same PR team. He hasn't seen her in months, not since London, not since... 

He missed her it was an ache in his soul. 

And now she was here and she was so beautiful and he loves her. He loves her, it physically hurt. 

She didn't bring him, because thank God. He wouldn't have been able to bear it. He almost begged her not to bring him. 

She walks off the podium, and catches him, staring openly at her, at the skin of her neck.

"Hey Adam." 

She looks at him cheekily, grins as she turns her back and he groans, inside, she will be the death of him. 

He feels Joanne nudge into him a smile plastered on her lips. 

"Smile, Adam."

He hears the vitriol in her tone and he turns his mouth up, watching Daisy walk across the stage. 

\---

He bit his lip, because her accent, her face, she was everything and he can't keep his eyes off of her. 

He wanted her, so astutely he can feel it. 

But before he can approach her, John steps between him. "Stop."

"Move aside."

"She hasn't eaten in a month. She's been in a hospital where they had to force food through a tube in her nose. That's how much she missed you. Adam. I'm not saying this because I hate you. I'm not saying it because I have feelings for her. I don't. That's not what this is. I'm her friend, and I need to know. I need to know you'll stay this time because if you don't let her go. Tom's a good man. But... she won't be able to do anything if you don't let her go."

Daisy looks back to him, a smile crossing her lips, but not quite reaching her eyes and he shudders a breath out. 

He can't. 

He can't not go to her. 

But he loves her too much to destroy her. 

So he smiles back and watches as she turns away from him, feeling his heart being ripped out of his chest. 


	11. Unbreak My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RETCON: The BAFTA Angst I need to exorcise out of my system. We'll have fluff tomorrow I promise. I just have a lot of angst regarding recent events and I need to vent it out.

**The BAFTAs**

Of course it was gray and rainy. 

And of course he's standing outside her window, in a flat she shared with another man, drenched to his bones. 

"You can't be serious."

She has an umbrella and a blanket in her hands and she was already going for the door.

"Leave. Now."

Tom throws his hands up and points a finger out. "He's married. _Married_. He broke up with you. Stop doing this to yourself."

"Tom, I love him."

It makes her weak or stupid or whatever but she loves him. 

"Please, Tom."

"I worry. Because he'll break you again and again and again. And we can't keep patching you back up Dazz."

He cups her cheek in his hand and in an ideal world he would have loved her truly and maybe Adam would not stand a chance. But he was gay and she was in love with someone else, and they were just not at that point. But still he did love Daisy and her kind heart, and he couldn't let her break. 

"I had to bring you to a hospital Daisy. We had to force food down your stomach. It's dark. I don't ever want to see you like that again do your know how scared I was?"

"I did. And I'm sorry for it Tom but if I am being totally honest, I don't care at this point. I just want Adam."

He sighs because that was the crux of the issue. She always wanted Adam, will always want Adam more than anything else in the entire world. 

"Be sure, okay? You just be sure."

They both turn to the door and Adam's eyes warm from honey brown to dark black at the sight of him in Daisy's apartment and he lunges for him but Daisy steps in between them, her hands on his chest. 

"Tom's just leaving, you will make no scene in front of my home."

She nods to Tom who gives one last glare at Adam before flipping him off and Daisy wraps the blanket around Adam as best as she could and drags him inside. 

"Why are you here?"

"You left without saying goodbye."

"And you said hello?"

She climbed up the stairs to her flat and he follows, his big hulking form warm against her back and her skin shivers. 

"Where's your wife?"

"We both know she isn't."

"Really? That wasn't what you told me, when you boarded a plane, after you fucked me _raw_ and didn't have the decency to speak to me and cancelled everything we should have done together."

He reaches for her and crushes her to him. 

"You wanted me to go with you? To China, Japan wherever? You want them to interview me while I look at you? You want them to know that each night I dream of you and just you? You want me to what, tell everyone we had an affair and that my wife had a kid with someone else? You want to be hated, Daisy? Because you know as well as I do, you will have it bad, if I come out in public."

"You think I _care?_ Motherfuck, Adam. I _love_ you. God, how pathetic."

He blinks, startled. 

"Don't act as if you didn't know. I love you. And you left me. You wouldn't even look at me."

She wouldn't cry, she wouldn't do it. But Adam does.

Wracking shaking sobs that start from his chest to his shoulders and then he's on his knees, in front of her head in her stomach cradling him to her. 

She stands frozen, because she was not his comforter, she would not be it. 

This was his own.

"Tell me what to do. Tell me what to do and I will do it. Anything. For you."

"I can't tell you that. You have to figure your own shit out."

She wraps him in the blanket, extricating herself from his hold. Bathroom's through there, washer's there. 

And she turns away and hides in her own room, letting the tears fall on the floor. 

\---

He sits with his back to her door, waiting for her to come out. 

"I was going to divorce her. I really was."

"You said that."

"But she got pregnant."

"While we were together you slept with her."

He buried his face in his hands. He just wanted to hold her, because seeing her, after all this time, seeing her and not being able to touch her, or speak to her, was killing him from the inside out. 

"No. She slept with another man."

"Then why stay Adam."

"Because if I hadn't went home with your lipstick on my collar and your cum on my fingers, she wouldn't have done that. She wouldn't have gone and fucked whoever and gotten pregnant. She had gonorrhea too. It was scary, for a while, because... the treatment could have affected the baby. It was my fault, don't you see that Daisy? I had to do what was right for her."

"So you left me."

"I never wanted to."

"You still left me."

"Tell me what to do Daisy."

She wrenches the door open and towers over him as he almost topples inside her room.

With his hair straight and lank, he looks ten years younger and a surge of affection rises in her chest.

"If I tell you to leave her, if I tell you to walk out with me in sunny London and kiss me and hold my hand right now, would you do it?"

"Yes."

Tears pool in her eyes and her voice shakes. "If I tell you to call her right now and tell her you're divorcing her, would you do it?"

"Yes."

He was done, he was giving up. It was no use. He loved her. And his life was already a living hell. He'd rather go through it with her than without. 

"So why did you leave me Adam."

"I'm sorry."

He lifts to his feet, wrapping arms around her, and sighs in relief, in praise, in thanks when she burrows into him. 

"You motherfucker. Don't ever leave me again."

"Never." He vows against her hair.

"Never."


	12. Why Can't I Breathe, Whenever I Think About You?

**2018 - New York**

"He's not eating."

Greta wrung her hands together as Noah entered their brownstone. 

Noah glances at the living room, where Adam was wearing a hole into their rug. 

"I know she's in London, and I want to know why she's cancelling the signing- oh fuck you. I want to talk to her- SHE WON'T PICK UP THE PHONE!"

Greta winces as Adam's voice thunders in their flat and she sighs. "I... I think I should call her."

"Honey-"

"He's going to waste away without her. As I'm sure you know."

She lifted a hand to his cheek, and he cradles her hand into his own. 

"You came to me, you need to give her the same time you had."

Greta smiles sadly and shakes her head. "I was never coming back Noah. I was going to move on and live my life. You chose your wife. You had a kid. I was going to walk out of that picture, I wanted no part of it."

His brow furrows and looks down at her. "What made you change your mind?"

She looks on as Adam sits on the couch, utter dejection in his face. 

"Adam called me from London."

His eyes widen and his shoulders slump. 

It seems like it's time to return the favor. 

\---

At first glance she would have looked fine. She had on a nice summer dress and was smiling widely when they met. 

But she knows the familiarity of the dark circles, the troubled eyes, the nervous tic. 

She knows the pain of loving someone you can't have. 

"Daisy."

"It's good to see you again Greta."

She often came to their house, the past year, when she and Adam were sharing that cramped apartment in Manhattan, away from all the stares. 

"You know why I'm here."

Daisy picks up her cup of tea and looks out the window. 

"I won't be here for long, just... I'm just getting my things out of the flat."

"He looks like shit."

"Greta-"

"He hasn't been sleeping because London's 8 hours ahead. And he's always calling. Always. He hasn't been eating. He's miserable without you."

Daisy's hands shakes as she puts her cup down and glares. 

"He has a son-"

"So does Noah. So did he at the time."

Daisy stops, remembers and flushes. 

"You can't not see him. You have to at least say hi. If only to put him out of his misery."'

"I... alright."

\---

His eyes drink her in, all the emotion lodging in his throat as he reaches for her, grabs for her really, just holding her tight against his chest, cradling her head there, in the same way he did when they ended filming. When he hopped on a plane and left her. 

"Hi."

He croaks and he clears his throat, his arms tightening around her. 

"Hi, baby." He mutters rocking her side to side. 

"I just wanted to see your play. It's good Adam. It's really good."

Her own emotions choke her as she clutches at his shirt. "I miss you."

His lips trail on her forehead, down her ear, to her neck. 

"I can't believe you're here."

"I have things... Vogue... Adam, we can't."

"I miss you."

"I... no. I just... I wanted to be here, and support you. And say goodbye."

It hurt her, but she pulls away, pushing on his chest. The joy, the utter peace that came over his face when she walks into his dressing room fades into a tumultous storm and his body that melted against hers raised it's hackles.

"What do you mean goodbye?"

"I... I'm moving back to London."

He pulls away, lips thinning, and the next words out of his mouth were a hiss. "With _him._ "

She nods, and paints a bright smile on her lips. "He's... he's good to me."

"Do you love him?"

"I... I'm happy. And I want you to be too, with your... with your family, and I want you to know I have no ill feelings, and we always said it wouldn't be forever-"

" _Do. You. Love. Him."_

She presses her hands against his chest, as he advances on her, big and hulking and spitting mad. 

"Adam, don't be like this, we can be friends-"

He catches her in his arms, hands on her ass, grinding her against him. 

"I'm not just your friend Daisy. I don't want to be just your friend."

"Adam... please-"

She moans as his hips roll against hers, deliciously creating friction against her dress, and he hoists her up to his shoulders, and deposits her roughly on his bed and covers her with him before she can think. Before she can have a second to breathe and know that this was wrong, on so many levels. 

His cock, straining against his denim jeans, presses against her core where she was sure she was already wet. 

She grinds against him, desperate to feel him, but he nips at her neck, hard, and stills her hips with his hands. "Not until you answer me. Do you love him, Daisy Belle? Do you love this guy?"

He trails a finger down the deep vee of her dress and circles a nipple lightly and her back arches and there were so many sensations, his mouth sucking at her neck, his fingers at his breast, his cock nudging against her slit. 

"Please... Please.."

"Answer me."

He bites down where her pulse thrummed in her neck and pinched her nipple at the same time he thrusted against hers and it was too much for her, and she was coming apart at the seams, and she drags his head, trying to push him down to where she needed him but his teeth bit on her skin, refusing to budge.

"Answer Daisy."

"No. No. No. No. No. Please, please, Adam."

She feels his mouth curve against her skin, and pleased with her answer his hands quickly dive under her skirts and shoves her panties aside and drives two fingers into her, curving up to her walls and she's keening, loudly, as she tugs at his hair, pushing his mouth down to her breast, where he mouths her over the cloth of her dress.

"Who do you love then Daisy, hmm? Who does this pussy belong to?"

With his free hand he drags the dress down, and cursing when her bare breast rose to meet him, his tongue laving at the nipple with gusto.

"Adam. Adam. Please, close, I'm close... I'm coming."

But his fingers stop moving and he bites down on her nipple. 

"Tell me. Who do you love Daisy."

She screams, because she was there, at the edge of it and it hurts and burns and she needs, oh she needs.

"You. You. I love you Adam. Only you. Please."

She writhed against him, desperate for friction but he pins her with his hips, resting her body weight on his, dragging her arms up above her head and resting his forehead on hers. 

"Open your eyes, look at me."

She does, and her breaths were coming in pants, and she needs, she needs. 

"I love you Daisy."

The words, out of his mouth, shocks her and her heart trips, and her breath stills in her lungs and then, all at once, everything rushes back, and she grows feral, and she bucks and unseats him, climbing on top of him tearing at his shirt, and clawing at his belt. 

"Off. Take it off." And she scratched his chest, biting, sucking, licking anything within reach and when he frees his cock she grabs it harshly, squeezing until he hisses "Jesus, Daisy- fuck."

And he takes her in her, in one fell swoop and then she rides him, rides him, and drags him up to her, hands tangling in his hair as he sits up and she fixes her mouth on his biting, bruising, her hips bottomed out and pistoning him in all directions and it was so good, and she tugs his head back and nips at his chin. 

"Mine. You're mine. I love you Adam."

And she comes apart around him, pussy squeezing him tight, as she bites down as brutally as she did on his neck.

\---

He goes home to pack a bag, to come to her, and stay at her hotel. Joanne carries the baby, and takes a look at him. He knows what he looks like. 

There's a bruise on his neck, his lips were swollen, and his hair was ransacked. 

He smells of her, he knows it. Can feel her wetness against his clothes. 

"She's here then."

Joanne murmurs.

"She is."

"And you're going to her."

"I can't live without her. I just... I can't."

She says nothing as he packs a bag, as he walks out the door, as he lives the next four months in a flat in Manhattan with a woman not his wife. 

\---

**The Present - New York, Summer 2020**

"Oh my god."

Daisy waddles to where she sat on her patio and Greta immediately rises and pats her to sit down. 

"I thought you have two more months to go!"

"She's in the 80th percentile for size."

Greta laughs and Daisy contorts herself to fit her and her giant belly to the seat. 

"Adam?"

"He's parking the car."

"You guys drove? But it's four blocks."

"Greta, when you're carrying a baby that is larger than 80% of the world's population of babies, you are welcome to walk four blocks and tell me how that feels."

Daisy snapped at her and her eyes widen before a laugh breaks out at her door. 

"Yeah, we don't talk about the giant bump Grets."

Adam kisses her cheek before going to his wife, sitting next to her on the sofa where she snuggles against him and huffs.

"I want her out! She's pressing on my bladder, and I'm so hot."

Adam laughs and rubs soothing circles on her back. 

Greta grins and sits across from them, marvelling at the tiny imprint of a foot that's sticking out of Daisy's skin. 

"She still kicks?"

"A lot." Daisy glares at the foot, tapping against it slightly. 

"She likes to play with Daddy."

She glares at her husband who only kissed her temple, as content as the cat that ate the canary. 

"My girls, both strong headed women."

"We're still not naming her Lily Jazz."

"But... I like it."

"This is America, you know she's going to be called the Jizz Driver in school and then were would you be? In prison, for hitting a high school boy."

Adam's eyes darkened and considered. "Unless I take her to self defense. She can then deck the high school boy for me."

"We're not naming her Lily Jazz."

"We're also definitely not calling her Lily Rey."

"Rey is a great character excuse you me-"

"We're not because if we have a boy you're going to insist on naming him Ben and then it's just weird to name our kids that way."

"No you want to name our son Ben because you love that character and then it's going to be weird."

"Okay, no Star Wars names we're never going to agree, but I still think Jazz is a good middle name."

"Speak for yourself-"

They continued to bicker like that, forgetting she even existed, and she just looks at them and grins, because sometimes... sometimes, you just need someone to help you realize what you really want in life. And that was all that mattered. 


	13. Author's Note: A Change In Pace

With new events regarding Awards Season... I'm restructuring the flow of the story - each chapter would now be standalones, not following plot points changing fluidly as Daiver events unfold. 

Sigh, here we go it's been a bumpy ride guys. But we'll make it through.


	14. Only Bought This Dress So You Could Take It Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BAFTAs, Dresses, Daiver Things

**BAFTAS 2020**

"Hi Adam."

The pull to her is magnetic, almost as if she was a sun, and he the planet that only lives with her warmth. 

The hand that clutched him was as firm as the voice that accompanied it. 

"You can't." 

His publicist hisses at his ear, and he stills, and clenches his fists, and keeps his eyes on her as she goes to her photocall. 

"Well. You can't even pretend for one night."

"Remember this is your conditions Joanne. You wanted publicity for your film, you're getting it. I don't have to pretend I like it."

He doesn't even bother looking at her. 

When he's given the signal to go, he leaves her behind, not caring if she stays or storms off in a huff. 

He follows closely as Daisy talks to people, and signs autographs, watching her. 

She doesn't spare a glance at him, except one, before she enters the theatre, her bold red lip quirking into a smile. 

\---

He had those lips wrapped around his cock, the harsh bun she coiled her hair in now messed up from his hands. 

The dress... well they'd have to pay for that now. 

She hollows her cheeks and takes half of his length in before he can feel her throat spasming around him. 

"Daisy."

His hand tenses in her hair and he was rewarded by a scrape of her teeth. He jerks and shudders trying to stop himself. 

"Daisy, I'm close."

He opens his eyes, meets hers, at the elfin mischief in there as he spills in her mouth when she sucks him harder.

He groans at the visible swallowing of her throat and then he hauls her into his arms, just holding her tight, breathing in her smell - flowers, sweat. Daisy. 

"Hi baby."

She sighs against his ear as she extends her neck, giving him room to snuggle against. 

"Hi. I miss you."

"I know, baby. I know."

"Let me stay with you."

She hums and runs her fingers through his hair. 

"That would be nice. But I don't think your publicist would like that."

"Fuck it. I played their games."

She pulls back, hands cupping his cheeks as she presses small kisses down his nose. 

"Baby... I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're worth all of it."

The mischief in her eyes melts, and there, there she was, his soft Daisy. Who fell him with one look. 

"I love you."

He's never meant it, in his entire life he never meant it the way he did now. 

"I love you."

"Your dress though..."

"Did you like it?"

"You mean the way John kept trying to sneak a peek down your non-existent top. No."

She laughs and kisses him again, long and hard and deep. 

"I wore it for you. So you can take it off."

"Okay."

She giggles as he rises, forcing her to cling to him like a monkey and they plop down unceremoniously on the bed. 

\---

"I don't care.... Then get me that flight.... I'm not going to win you know that... I am not leaving London, I'm taking that flight, and I'll see you at the Academy."

She wraps her arms around him as his muscles tense on his phone and he resists the urge to throw it. 

He takes her hands and wraps her arms tighter around him, and she presses her cheek and lip to his shoulder. 

"Baby?"

She asks as she rubs his stomach, and he sighs and melts against him. 

"We have a week."

A week. She thrilled at it. But she knows the cost of it. On him. On them. 

"You're already going to be here for a film. I can hold out for a few more months."

"No. You're coming back with me."

"I can't-"

"No. No more." He turns back to her and he holds her face in his hands and kisses her. "Everyday I think of you here, where he can get to you again-"

"Don't think like that, I won't-"

"You got tired, of waiting for me once."

"Because you said you wanted to work on your marriage!"

"And now I want to work on you."

She snorts despite the tense situation. 

"I can't be seen in America. You know this."

"So I stage pap photos, it's going to be fine."

She shakes her head and wraps her arms around her body. "It's too dangerous."

"I don't care, I need to be with you Daisy. Just you."

He takes her hands and kisses it. And they've been through so much, and there's so many things that can go wrong. But... fuck it. What else was she young for? 

Fuck it this is Adam. And she loves him. 

Fuck it it could be wrong. It could cost her everything. But what was everything without Adam anyway?

"Okay."

\---

He watches a play with her, and leaves his publicist with more of a brewing headache than ever. 

"So you're flying to LA? Now? After you've been gone a week?"

Joanne bites out at him, and he looks at her. 

God when did they get so old?

When did she look at him with so much hatred in her features?

When did she become his very living nightmare. The one thing that stopped him from his happiness.

He wanted this to be good, and amiable, for the sake of the kid. For the sake of what they had. 

But God... it was true what they say. Divorce brings out all the bad things in a person you used to love. 

And there was nothing there in her left, that he could really, truly, have remorse for. 

They were different people now. Too different. Maybe they married young, or maybe he just married wrong. It was his fault. 

He knew when they got married it was not out of his utter and complete devotion. She was easy, she was a friend, she knew his moods and knew how to deal with it. He was a military man, and he wanted simple and easy and manageable. He didn't believe in romance, in the movies. He believed in a solid partner, who would not be blinded by emotions. Who would not be weak to the ebbs and flows of a fickle heart. 

He should have known it would bite him back in the ass and haunt him. 

Because then, only then when he cannot possibly have it, did he have the whole, fall in love, with fireworks in the sky, and cannons in my chest moment. 

The moment he saw Daisy Ridley. 

They walk back to her apartment, letting the shutters of cameras click as they have to be seen out and about in New York. 

The minute they enter the lobby he texts his driver to meet him in the parking lot in the basement. 

"I have to go."

"You're not even going to see him? Your own kid?"

"We're leaving for LA in about 3 hours."

"I never thought I'd see the day you'd plant your own photos."

"Hey. It's free publicity for your movie."

She looks at him with such anger, at the silver band he kept around his finger, but not the one that matches hers. This one was white gold, her name, engraved on the inside. She spied it once - _Everlasting, like the sun. Love, Daisy._

Spice Girls she thought. God she was so young. 

"What the-"

Adam grumbles and then he calls his security. "What do you mean she went out by herself? _THE SUBWAY?_ You do realize her face is on every billboard in Times' Square? It's not like she's someone no one recognizes!"

He drops the call, and quickly pulls out another phone and places it at his ear, grumbling all the way. 

"The Subway?"

He mutters loudly as her voice clicks on.

_Hello to you too._

It jolts her, the way her accent pours from Adam's very loud phone, the laughter in her tone, the way Adam seems to melt at just the sound of her voice. 

"Baby. We talked about the Subway."

A pet name. She almost scoffs to herself. He said petnames were ridiculous and did not really imply affection. They had names, they should use it. Maybe she just wan't young enough or British enough for one.

_"I have my own metro card! I like feeling like a New Yorker."_

"The last time you rode the subway someone followed you to your hotel."

_"Yeah but I'm careful now, no one even knew it was me. I think."_

"Daisy... just be careful okay. I don't know... if you get hurt."

_"Baby, I'm fine. Look, if it makes you feel better, I'll get off. And I can meet your security..."_

"No. I'm coming to get you myself. Where are you?"

_"I ah... may have stopped to see the Empire before I left."_

Adam's breath hitches and he pinches his nose, all muscles going rigid. 

"Daisy. Please tell me you're not standing in front of the pretzel cart at the Empire State building."

" _I'm not."_

"Daisy-"

" _I'm at the Halal Brothers stall!_ _I'll get you a burrito, bye babe!"_

She clicks off and Adam grumbles and she glimpses his wallpaper, him and Daisy, all those years ago in Ireland, her on his shoudlers as they loomed over the island. 

He sighs and chuckles and the carefree, blinding smile that comes with it is a poisoned dart to her heart. He hasn't laughed at her, or smiled at her in years. 

Not even when their son was born. 

Not even when they were first dating. 

"Sir? We have the car ready, and no paparazzi."

Adam nods at his team and turns to make his way to the lifts, blinking when he noticed Joanne still standing there. 

"Oh. Uh... I have to go. She took the subway. And out in the city."

"And it's not like she's a face no one can recognize. You said it."

Guilt crosses his face, his fame, he knows, he has become a stereotype of his fame. 

"'I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's just the way it is."

She turns and doesn't look back. 


	15. Love, Save Me Some

**2040 - The Academy Awards**

"Hi, I'm Daisy Ridley."

His eyes widen as his wife's face fills the screen, and he turns to her disbelief in his eyes. 

"I'm Adam's wife. As you all know, I've been with him to many of these things. And... I'm here to help present this award to him. And maybe... tell you a bit more about the man who is my husband, and not just the man you see on screen."

There were gray strands in her hair, wrinkles around her eyes when she smiled. But she was every bit as beautiful to him, as the day they first met.

He takes her hand, and kisses it. It was rare for Adam Driver to be a smiling person on any award show, but through the years, he's been reduced to a goofy funny man when his wife would grin at him and whisper things in his ear. 

_How did you and Adam meet?_

On screen Daisy sighs and rolls her eyes.

"As you know, Adam and I met on the set of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. He was cast as Kylo Ren, the villain and I was Rey, the hero."

Images of them during the first movie was interspersed with Daisy's voice, earning a cheer from the crowd. They looked so young then, and he turns and grins at Daisy. "You had a crush on me didn't you."

She smiles and shoves him, signalling for him to keep watching. 

"I was 21 at the time, and Adam was 30. I know. I know. It was huge for me too. He was married then, and really... okay I do have to admit I had a crush on Adam-" Adam turned to her and wiggled his eyebrows and she merely grinned, refusing to look at him. 

"But so did the rest of the world, I mean... he was funny, and charming and had more talent in his pinky than many had in their entire bodies. And he was massive, like... my first instinct was to hug him."

_"What did you think then of Adam's acting?"_

"I think I always tell this story - of how Adam's the best screen partner because he's just so amazing, and so understanding that... it was my first acting job and I couldn't really... get the right emotions out but he gave me so much time to get there and process and I didn't even have to ask. And I'm sure all his co-stars would agree with me when I say Adam's just a team player. He's very generous with his emotions and it's easy to feed off him and his acting."

_"DId you know he was going to be a star at the end of Star Wars?"_

"He already was a star back then, he was nominated for an Oscar and he was doing all these amazing films and just being such a great presence. Adam took roles he connected with, and he didn't care whether it was a role that will earn him an Oscar or if it's like some crazy comedy, but everything he does is with something of a heart in mind and so I always knew he was going to make it big in Hollywood, and the world." _:_

_"You've been with Adam through his highs and lows after that Awards Season of 2020."_

On screen Daisy sighs, looks down for a bit before smiling and shrugging.

_"How was he during that period... what was the creative process then?"_

Daisy takes a minute to ponder, before looking back at the camera again, her fingers twisting in the simple gold band on her finger, the same gold band he gave her all those years ago when they were a secret, and couldn't be anything more than a secret. 

"I think, I won't sugar coat the truth. That period was tough for him because he was going through divorce and we were in just a media storm, that we didn't really have time to process. He was just... focused on work. The good thing about Adam is he knows what opinions matter and what don't. So he doesn't really... he's not really affected by things on the internet and what's being said. What's important was that he and I were okay, our families were okay, and he and his ex-wife Joanne, got to a good place. So he was just working. Adam's work ethic is unparalleled. He'll be up by 5 if he needs to be somewhere by 8, to make sure he's ready and prepared. He'll always come with his lines memorized and just ready to go and I think even with how difficult it was personally for him, it never affected his work."

_He got his first ever Oscar for a film he did that year. The Last Duel._

"Yeah. I think he just connected with that character because he was being accused of somehting that might have been partly true but most is not, and it was just a good way for him to express himself. Adam's ability to fully connect with his character is what makes him such a fascinating actor to watch."

_What was it like being directed by your husband for the role that won you the Oscar?_

"First of all, horrible, because there was this one scene where I had to be naked, and my co-star, who's also a good friend of ours Oscar Isaac was naked and my husband was there, and it was just so surreal. In between takes our baby sitter called and our daughter, she was four at the time, got really sick and she was wondering if she had to take her to the hospital because her fever wasn't coming down and then it was like a - Oh my God, how do we do this, we can't co-parent in this scenario because we're both here, and then we're worried because our daughter was sick. So... we had no choice, you can't have one without the other and we had to pack up the set and go to the hospital with our sick daughter. So... it was fun in a sense, because there is no one in the world I would trust more than my husband - of course, but after this we agreed to never collaborate again, at least until the kids were older, because one of us always has to be available in case they need us."

_And coming to that point, what is four time- Academy Award Winner Adam Driver like when he's just Adam? And any message you would want to give him on this day?_

"Baby."

On screen Daisy grins, and beside him, his wife squeezes his hand and lays her head on his shoulder. 

"It's been an honor and a pleasure to have been able to share your life these past 20 years, and see you just grow into the man you are, see you as a father to our kids. I.. I have never been more proud, and I would... I'll always be here for you. Everlasting. Like the sun. I love you!"

The video fades to black as the room erupts in claps and standing ovations and Adam smiles, that, help me I am kidnapped smile, obviously flustered at the attention before turning to Daisy and laying his forehead on hers.

Adam Driver never smiles much at events and awards. Except when his wife is right there beside him. 


	16. I'll Love You In The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy Driver and the Oscar Interview

**Driving Mrs. Driver (Transcript)**

Daisy Ridley takes Hollywood by storm, after her explosive affair with husband, Adam Driver, their whirlwind romance that culminated in a wedding, a baby and an Oscar win for her husband. She still continues to take Hollywood by storm, playing the mysterious femme fatale in Guillermo Del Toro's latest film, co-starring her husband and father of her child, who incidentally is her interviewer today. In an interview reminicent of the very first one they did all those years ago. 

Adam Driver (AD): Hello baby, how have you been?

Daisy Ridley (DR): Hello baby, I've been good. (laughs)

AD: And our actual real baby, and not just the whiny people we are, how is he?

DR: He's well, thank you for asking. He's been kicking at my bladder since we got here, so I might have to go to the loo in a little while. 

AD: Really I should be suffering from something as well. 

DR: You are the cause of why I have this gigantic baby in my belly. 

AD: Yes, tell me about that, how exactly did you meet and start this relationship with your husband? *at this point the author has to note that Adam Driver has stars in his eyes when he looks at his wife. It makes even a cynic like me believe in love*

DR: I thought I was supposed to discuss our movie?

AD: Yeah, but who cares about that, our love story is movie enough.

DR: *laughs* well we met in the set of... you know... the Space movies. 

AD: And he was married...

DR: To a really horrible person, who manipulated him, and dragged him through horrible things. *Daisy proceeds to use every profanity in the world that she knows, that had to be redacted from the interview*

AD: Okay, baby. I was just trying to joke-

DR: No, I mean, alright we were at fault, we cheated. I never denied it. I slept with you while you were married. But she was a vile woman, who told you you looked horrible, and that without her you wouldn't be anybody. She held your foundation over your head, and threatened to bankrupt it and all. And honestly babe, that woman gaslighted you for so long, and I saw the way you broke and suffered. And when I think of it, especially now that I have mama hormones in me that makes me super protective, and you were my first baby, I really just... get so angry. Especially when they still come after you as if being a cheater is the worst crime in the world. 

AD: I know, but it brought me you. So... I wouldn't change anything.

DR: *proceeds to cry for fifteen minutes.*

AD: *while patting a still crying DR burrowed in his neck* Pregnancy hormones. 

DR: Okay. I'm alright. Shoot, we're already ruining this Adam. 

AD: No, I think they're getting gold for their write up *he was right*

DR: Alright shoot your questions!

AD: What was it about me that you loved?

DR: Your humor. 

AD: Baby... *snorts*

DR: I'm serious! When we first met, do you remember? You were already cast as Kylo, and I was like... auditioning and then JJ just made me cry and cry and cry and there was this weird man who was like touching my head? And then you come in to see because JJ called you and said I might be the one, and you wanted to see, and then I was there, and my eyeliner was running and I was still crying and crying and you went like - "jeez, I know my nose is big, but I didn't think it would upset you this much" and I just snapped out of character because I laughed so hard.

AD: And you were in love with me then and there.

DR: Yeah, pretty much. When did you fall in love with me?

AD: It was March 1st

DR: He rode 12 extra floors for me!

AD: *laughs* 12 extra floors, no, seriously. I fell in love with you...when we were in the training room, for the lightsaber fight. I think it was like 6 months into filming and you always arrive early and give out those weird vegan granola bars? Yeah and you'd always be smiling, and I would be like.. why is she so happy, and you were just infecitious like the sun. Actually, and I never confessed this before, Rey... as in your character Rey was supposed to be named Kira. 

DR: Yeah, I was the one who mentioned that to you, in this last interview!

AD: Yeah, Yeah, I didn't know that her name was Kira, but JJ and I were sitting as we were watching you like...do your fancy saber moves and then I just said... that girl is a ray of sunshine. And JJ loved it and said he has to work that in somehow, so that's why in Abu Dhabi he suddenly was like... I think we should name you Rey. 

DR: Baby, that is so sweet of you. *they proceed to hold hands for the rest of the interview*

AD: But our path certainly hasn't been straight from then on out. 

DR: Of course - nothing worth it, ever is easy. 

_continue reading on page 14_


End file.
